


Starting Over

by WorryinglyInnocent



Category: Lost, Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Anyem, Claire/Gold, Co-Parenting, Crossover, F/F, F/M, Kate & Claire broship, Kate/Ruby, Post-Series, post-season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-06-23 11:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15605607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorryinglyInnocent/pseuds/WorryinglyInnocent
Summary: A Lost/Once Upon A Time crossover. Three years after leaving the island, Kate and Claire’s search for a quiet town in which to make their permanent home brings them to the peaceful idyll of Storybrooke, Maine, where new friendships are forged and new relationships tentatively kindled - although nothing is ever plain sailing.Eventual Claire/Gold, Kate/Ruby, with appearances from lots of Lost and OUAT characters.





	1. Chapter 1

“We need to get out of the city.” 

James glanced over at Kate on hearing her words. She was looking out of the kitchen window at the garden. Claire was sitting out on the deck, wrapped up in a thick afghan and nursing a cup of tea, watching over Aaron as he ran around, playing and investigating mud and bugs like any self-respecting six-year-old did.

“I thought you said that she was getting better. It’s been three years, Kate. If she’s not better now, do you think she’s ever going to be?”

Kate sighed and turned to him at last. “She is better, James. Look at her. You can’t look at her now and say she’s not a completely different person to the one that left the island three years ago. Be that as it may, though, she’s never going to be happy here in the city. There’s a tension in her all the time, even when she’s happy, like now.”

James looked back out of the window. Aaron was proudly showing his mother a worm that he had found in the rockery, and Claire was laughing and pretending to be grossed out by it.

He had to admit that the difference in her really was remarkable, and it had been good to see her growing out of the trauma that she had experienced on the island and returning to someone who could almost be compared with the person that she had been before the man-who-wasn’t-Locke had got to her. She was never going to be the same Claire; she had gone through too much for it not to have a permanent impact on her, and everyone knew it, even herself. Continuing to watch mother and son playing in the garden, James looked for the tension that Kate had described.

He saw her twitch as a plane taking off from La Guardia rumbled overhead, her shoulders hunching with the sound, and Aaron picked up on it too, his head on one side, one grubby little hand touching Claire’s knee. He couldn’t hear their conversation from the kitchen, but he could see Claire reassuring her son that she was all right and he should go back to playing.

“I’ve been thinking for a while that we need to go somewhere quieter,” Kate said, bringing James’s attention back into the kitchen with her. “New York probably wasn’t the best place to come in hindsight, but I couldn’t exactly go back to LA and I thought that it would be easier in a big city. We could hide away in plain sight. I’m so used to doing it that I didn’t really think about what it would be like for Claire. Going from an island with no-one in sight to a city with millions of people in it every day. She’s come so far, but I don’t think that she’s going to come any further.”

James gave a final glance out of the window then turned his back on it, focussing on Kate fully.

“Are you sure that she’s the only reason, Freckles?” he asked.

Kate gave him a look. “What are you implying, James? You only ever call me Freckles when you’re anticipating a fight. So, what is it that you have to say that you think I’m not going to like?”

“Are you sure that you’re not getting itchy feet yourself?”

The question had blind-sided her, he could tell, but at the same time, perhaps she wasn’t completely unprepared for it. James sighed, sensing that he wasn’t going to get an answer immediately, and he went on.

“If Claire needs peace and quiet to finish her recovery then that’s all very well, Kate, and I’ll be happy to help you find that peace and quiet wherever you want it. But considering everything she’s been though, and everything Aaron’s been through, in the past few years, with all the upheaval, I don’t want you to use her wellbeing as an excuse to satisfy your own desire to move on.”

It was strange to be jumping to Claire’s defence. In the past, he had always sided with Kate, not that there had ever been much to take sides on. Claire was too busy trying to sort out her own head to really argue about any of the arrangements and was happy to go along with anything as long as it meant that she got to be with Aaron. As time had gone on and as the dust from the island had settled, so it was that James had gradually understood just how badly Claire had been affected by her time alone there. He wanted to make her life and her recovery as easy as possible to take the strain off Kate, yes, but at the same time, Claire was capable of making her own decisions regarding her health and state of mind now. She knew when she was heading into a downward spiral and needed a couple of days just keeping to herself in her room. She knew how she was doing at any given moment. Kate was her friend and co-parent, not her carer; as much as he would always support Kate’s decisions made for the good of all three of them, he didn’t want her to be putting words in Claire’s mouth. The idea that Claire needed protecting was a hard mindset for Kate to break out of, but she didn’t need protecting as much as she had done before.

“James, if I had itchy feet, do you really think that a small town in the back of beyond would be the place I would choose to run to? Come on, you know me. I tried small town life once, and it really didn’t suit me.”

“Well, that’s true.”

“If I was running just for the sake of running, just for the sake of moving on and not staying in the same place for too long, then I would go to another city. It’s the city that we need to get out of. There’s too much noise here and too many people.” Kate shrugged. “A lot of people don’t like living in cities for that reason. We wouldn’t have small towns if people didn’t like living in cities.”

In spite of himself, James smiled. Kate did have a point there. He supposed that his hesitance was because he knew that Claire had lived in a city before, in Sydney, another busy, bustling city just like New York was. Her newfound nervousness around so much life and vibrancy, living in a concrete jungle as opposed to a green one, was proof that she had changed irrevocably.

“Have you talked to Claire about it yet?” he asked. “You know that you can’t just pack up and move on without consulting her.”

“I know that, James, I’m not stupid. I’m not going to start making plans on her behalf without asking her first. I’m not her mother.”

“No, you’re not. You’re not her older sister either.”

He saw the little sag of defeat in Kate’s shoulders. The friendship that she’d had with Claire since leaving the island had been so hard to define, close and fierce and protective, and James thought that he had hit the nail on the head. Kate desperately wanted to do what was best for Claire and had to reign herself in from just making all the decisions and expecting Claire to go along with them. She’d had to do that at first; Claire was in no fit state to be making such decisions. Now though, things had changed, and Claire was getting better, and deserved more of a say in what their life together as parents to Aaron was going to be like.

“I’ll talk to her tonight,” she said. “But if we do make the decision to move somewhere else, will you help us?”

James smiled. “Of course. Whatever you need.”

Kate gave a snort of laughter. “Sorry, I just had the image of you driving a u-haul up the east coast.”

“Who’s driving a u-haul up the east coast?”

Claire had come in from the garden, her mug of tea empty. Aaron was still digging in the flowerbeds; Kate wondered if the spring plants Claire had put in earlier in the week would survive the experience.

“No-one, yet,” James said.

Claire just raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything, just washing her hands and getting started on dinner. Looking at her now, it was hard to tell just what she’d been through, but Kate was right. There was something about her that was still on edge. Maybe a change of scenery would help with that.

X

Claire was sitting out on the deck wrapped in her afghan again, and Kate came to sit beside her. Aaron was asleep at last; it had been Kate’s turn for story time and he’d been unusually awake, needing two stories before he started to nod off. Maybe he could sense the beginnings of change in the air and it was making him just as on edge as Kate was. James’s earlier words to her had struck a chord; she might think she knew what was best for Claire and what she needed, but ultimately she couldn’t make the decision for her. She was glad that he had come over and played devil’s advocate in a way. She was so used to making the big decisions on her own or with only Carole’s assistance that she did sometimes forget that Claire had a voice and a stake in all these things too now, and she needed to be able to use them.

“Hey. Is he down now?”

Kate nodded. “It took ages though. With all that running around in the garden earlier, you’d think that he’d be tired out. Why do I always get bed time when he’s hyper?”

Claire laughed. “For the same reason that I get bath time when he’s really muddy.” She closed her eyes, turning her face up to the cool evening breeze, and Kate watched it blow her hair around her face like a golden halo. They’d had to crop it so short to get rid of the tangles after the island and it was in such bad condition that Kate had wondered if it would ever grow back, but now it was just brushing her shoulders again, and she looked more like the Claire that Kate had always known before.

“Claire,” she began, “are you happy here?”

Claire turned to her. “How do you mean?”

“Here in New York. Are you happy here?”

“Of course. Where else would I want to be? I’ve got Aaron and I’ve got you, and we’ve got our friends around. That’s all I need. I mean, it would be nice if I could see Mum a bit more often, but other than that, I’m happy here. Why do you ask?”

“I just thought that maybe you’d prefer somewhere… quieter.”

Claire didn’t reply for a long time, just staring down at her toes.

“When you’re so used to solitude, such a large place can be overwhelming,” she admitted. “I don’t miss the island, I never will. I’m glad to be away from it, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I feel like I just can’t breathe here.” She shrugged. “I can deal with it. It’s not as bad as it was. I just miss being near the sea sometimes. Walking along the Hudson isn’t really the same. But I can cope with it. As long as I have Aaron and you, then I think I can cope with anything.”

“But what if you didn’t have to cope? We can go somewhere else. Somewhere quieter, somewhere near the sea.”

Claire nodded. “That would be nice. Did you have anywhere in mind?”

Kate shook her head. “No, not really. It was just an idea to get away from the city.”

“Well, if you’re sure that it wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

“After everything that we’ve already done in this life, I don’t think that anything’s going to be too much trouble. If we can get off the island and rebuild our lives after that, then moving to a smaller town than New York should be plain sailing.”

Claire laughed. “I guess you’re right. Thank you for getting everything sorted out for us coming to live here. I feel like I never really thanked you properly; I just left everything in your hands and tried to put myself back together again. I wasn’t really pulling my weight.”

“All things considered, I think that’s understandable.”

“All the same, I want to be more involved this time. It’s all of our lives that we’re moving if we’re moving them. If we’re going to do this, then I don’t want you to have to do all the work. I’m helping out.”

It was the stubborn streak that did it, Claire’s old determination bleeding through again. Kate thought of her mission to recover her lost memories of her abduction after Aaron got sick on the island. She wasn’t going to take no for an answer then, and she wasn’t going to take no for an answer now.

“I’ll be glad of your help,” she said, and she meant it. The more that Claire got involved with the move, then the less it felt like she was steamrollering over everything and making all the decisions on her behalf. Now the only thing left to do was to actually make the first steps towards moving. It wasn’t going to be an easy process. Moving around under fake identities was never easy, especially with a child in tow, but they’d done it before, and they could do it again. If necessary, Kate was sure that Richard could activate the Others’ off-island network again and get them some brand new documents drawn up just like he had done when they had first left the island. It had been a tense wait for new lives, but they hadn’t had any trouble once they had finally returned to civilisation.

“I guess that this is what you were talking about when James was mentioning driving a u-haul up the east coast,” Claire said presently.

“Yeah.” Kate wondered if Claire was mad that she had talked it over with James before her, but she didn’t show any signs of anger.

“What did he think of the plan?”

“He wanted to make sure that I wasn’t projecting my desire to move onto you. He thinks I’ve got itchy feet.”

“Have you?”

“Maybe a little. But I’ve stayed in one place before. I stayed in LA with Aaron. I would have been happy to keep staying there if Ben hadn’t intervened and pressed my paranoia button. No-one’s pressed my paranoia button now. Still, if there’s an opportunity for a change of scene, then I’m not going to say no to it.”

They fell into silence as the sun began to set, bathing the garden in a soft pink glow.

“Will you be happy in a small town, Kate?” Claire asked eventually. “You really don’t strike me as that sort.”

“I tried it once,” Kate admitted. “But I wasn’t really me then. I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t. I was pretending to be the perfect small-town housewife. When we move, if we move, whatever… I won’t be pretending. I’ll still be me. As long as I’m still Kate then it really doesn’t matter where I am. I’m still Aaron’s mom and your friend. As long as I’m not trying to be someone I’m not then I think I can settle anywhere. It’s when I start trying to fit in that the problems start.”

They fell into silence again, but Claire was mollified with her answer, and Kate fell to thinking. She had never tried living in a small town for any length of time since her ill-fated marriage. She’d always stuck to cities, and as she’d said to James, if she was moving just for herself then that was where she would go. But this wasn’t just a move for herself. This was a move for the good of her entire family. If this was going to be the best thing for Claire, then ultimately it would be the best thing for all of them. Claire would be happier, and Kate and Aaron wouldn’t be worried about her. They could all be their best selves, and who knew? Maybe something miraculous and unexpected could come of it. It wasn’t the first time that their lives had been turned upside down, and Kate knew better than to think it would be the last.

“I guess that the next question is to work out where we’re going to go,” Claire said.

Kate didn’t have a ready answer for that one.

X

“Storybrooke.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Storybrooke.” Desmond tapped their map of the eastern seaboard about halfway along the Maine coast. Penny and Kate had taken Aaron and Charlie out for ice cream, leaving Desmond and Claire poring over maps. “I know it’s a bit far, but I think it would be the perfect place for what you’re describing. We spent a few months there around the time Charlie turned one.”

“What’s it like?”

“Small and quiet, which is what you’re looking for. Not too small though. It has all your necessary amenities; you don’t need to drive four hours for the nearest hospital or anything. It’s got everything you could really need apart from a throbbing nightlife. Well, it’s got one bar.”

Claire laughed. “I don’t think that a throbbing nightlife is high on our list of priorities right now, Desmond. What about a school for Aaron?”

“Elementary and middle school. The high school’s in the next town over but there’s a bus. Here, I’ve got some pictures somewhere.”

He grabbed the camera from where he’d been showing Claire and Kate the pictures from the latest Hume family sailing trip and quickly clicked backwards through them until he found what he was looking for.

“I swear that the weather wasn’t always gloomy,” he said. “We did have quite a bit of sun, I just never managed to take any pictures whilst it was out.”

It did look like just the kind of place that Claire was hoping to find. A sleepy town on the coast near to the ocean that she missed so much, without the madness and chaos of New York.

“What are they like with strangers?” she asked. “I know that small towns can have that kind of mentality sometimes. They don’t like incomers.”

“Well, they were perfectly welcoming to me and Pen and Charlie,” Desmond said. “I don’t think it’s  _that_  small a town. It just feels like it’s tiny in comparison to New York. I think you’d get on well there, all three of you.”

“That may be, Desmond, but remember that we’re not exactly the same kind of traditional nuclear family that you, Penny and Charlie are.”

“You’ll be fine,” Desmond said. “Honestly. Look, why don’t you just go for a visit? There’s a nice inn there; stay for a couple of days, say that you’re looking at moving to the area and you want to get a feel for the place. If you don’t like it, or if you don’t feel that the locals are going to be welcoming or accepting, then you don’t have to go there. It’s just a suggestion.”

Claire thought about it for a long time.

“No, I think that’s a good idea. We wouldn’t move to somewhere without doing any reconnaissance first.”

“I’m sure you’ll like it. I have a sixth sense about these things, you know.”

Claire laughed. “Don’t tell me, you’ve already seen a flash of the future with us living in Storybrooke happily ever after.”

“No. The flashes are a thing of the past now, pun unintended. Just call it a hunch.”

Claire continued to flick through the photos. A lot of them were of Penny and Charlie in various places around the town, but there were some of the scenery as well, and a few did even have sunny skies in the background. It was as good a place as any to start their search for a new home.


	2. Chapter 2

“You know, considering that the two of them started completely new lives after leaving the island three years ago, I have no idea how they’ve managed to accumulate so much crap in that time.”

“Miles, you’re one to talk. You have an entire closet devoted to punk music memorabilia.”

Miles and Richard’s argument continued all the way up the stairs as they manhandled one of Claire’s bookcases up into her bedroom. Claire and Frank, waiting to follow them up with the boxes of books that would go onto the bookcase once it was vertical again, just looked at each other, trying not to laugh. Frank shook his head in good-natured despair.

“You know, with the amount of bickering that goes on between the two of them, I have no idea how they actually manage to not only live together but actually have a vaguely functioning relationship.”

“Ah, bickering’s the best part of any relationship, Frank, didn’t you know that?” James came past them with a box of kitchenware. The predictions of him driving a u-haul up the east coast had come true in the end, but he’d been more than happy to help them pack up their lives in New York and make the move to Storybrooke.

It wasn’t a decision that they’d made lightly. It was a huge amount of upheaval to go through, especially for Aaron, who was at the age where he was beginning school and beginning to make lasting friends. Now he had left all those behind and was going to be starting a new school in a brand-new town in a brand-new state. Even though it had taken them a lot of time to actually make the move, Claire had known that they would end up in Storybrooke as soon as she had set foot in it for the first time. As she had wandered along by the docks and looked up and down the high street, she had known instinctively that this was a place that she could be happy in. It was a big change from New York, and it felt as though a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Of course, there were the odd few who had given her and Kate strange looks when they had entered places, the two of them and Aaron, but she knew that there were going to be people like that wherever they ended up going, whether it was a small town like Storybrooke or another big city.

The town was large enough and modern enough that it didn’t feel like they were trapped in a place stuck in a stifling past, but it was blessedly quiet, and there were no planes flying overhead all the time. There was an almost constant breeze blowing off the Atlantic Ocean, and Aaron had had great fun watching the fishing boats in the bay when she had taken him out there during the second morning of their short scouting stay there.

“All right, all right, move along, you’re blocking the hallway.” Kate came in from the trucks outside carrying a precarious box full of china, and Frank and Claire made their way upstairs with the books. In Claire’s bedroom, Richard and Miles were still arguing about Miles’s collectibles as they slotted the shelves back in the bookcase. Aaron was running around with the toolkit, and Claire grabbed him before he could do himself an injury on any of the moving furniture.

“I guess we should probably put your bed back together,” she said, taking the toolkit from him and letting him pull her through the house to his room. “The books can wait a while.”

“Claire!” Kate called up from the kitchen. “Which box did we pack the coffee in?”

“It’s in my purse!” Claire yelled back. “I figured we’d need it easily accessible!”

“Thanks!”

Claire got to work setting out the screws and tools and making sure that none of the pieces of the bed had been left behind in the old house in New York. Aaron watched her intently, handing her all the right pieces at the right times.

“It’s easier with Legos,” he observed as Claire screwed the legs of the bed on.

“I don’t think that Legos would make a very comfortable bed though,” Claire said. “You know how much it hurts when you step on them.”

“Yes, but if you put the mattress over them then they’d be ok. It’s simple really.”

Claire pushed her hair out of her face. “Now that’s a problem-solving logic that I think you get from your Mommy Kate. Speaking of which, do you want to go and ask her what we’re doing for dinner? It’s getting near time and we’re not done bringing things in yet. I don’t think we’re going to have time to go grocery shopping. If you see one of the guys, tell him I need some help with the bedhead.”

Aaron trotted off downstairs as Claire continued to put the bed together as much as she could without an extra pair of adult hands, and she heard his imperative ‘go help Mommy Claire with the bedhead, Mommy Kate what’s for dinner?’, giving a sigh.

“I swear we raised you better than that,” she muttered, counting out screws and making sure she had enough. Sure enough, a few moments later she heard footsteps on the stairs.

“I’ve been instructed to help with a bedhead.”

It was a Scottish accent, but not Desmond’s voice, and Claire looked up with alarm to find Mr Gold standing in the doorway. She’d only met him once, when they’d signed the paperwork and he’d handed over the keys when they’d leased the house off him.

“Oh. Yes. Sorry about that. When I told him to find someone to help me, I hadn’t expected that he’d accost a stranger.”

“It’s no matter. I just came over to see how you were getting on with the move in.” He came in and held up the headboard without comment, and Claire got to work on screwing it in place, grateful that she didn’t have to look at him in her embarrassment.

“We’re doing well,” she said. “We can’t find anything, but that’s par for the course. We’ll probably still be unpacking in three weeks’ time. Thanks. You can let go now.”

She sat back on her heels and finally looked up at Mr Gold. Her first impression of him hadn’t really been favourable or unfavourable. It had been a business transaction and their interaction had been a purely professional one. All the same, she had been quite impressed that he hadn’t batted an eyelid at Aaron playing with his toys in the background whilst she and Kate were signing and sealing on their new home.

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

He helped her manoeuvre the mattress onto the bedframe and gave her a brief smile.

“I’d better go now and leave you in peace. The last thing that you need is the landlord hanging around and breathing down your necks whilst you’re unpacking. Just let me know if you need anything.”

“We will. Thank you.”

He left the room just as Desmond poked his head round the doorframe and the two men exchanged greetings, obviously knowing each other from Desmond’s last stay here.

“I’m going to the diner to get food for everyone,” Desmond told Claire. “Want to come?”

“I don’t know, I’ll feel bad taking a break whilst everyone’s still here working.”

“Everyone’s having a coffee break that’s going to turn into an extended dinner break,” Desmond pointed out. “Most of the stuff’s out of the trucks now, it’s just a case of reassembly and getting everything out of the boxes. Come on, it’ll be good for you to see some more of the town.”

Claire considered it for a moment longer before nodding. “All right. Aaron’s bed linen can wait till later. At least he does actually have somewhere to sleep tonight.”

In fact, it would probably only be her and Kate sleeping on the floor. Desmond and Penny would be on their boat in Storybrooke docks and the others had checked into the inn for the night. Beds could wait. At this point, Claire was sure that she was going to be so exhausted by the end of the day that any vaguely flat surface would do for sleeping on.

She left the house with Desmond, picking up everyone’s dinner orders on the way. Miles and Richard had resolved the memorabilia argument and were now discussing the correct way of stacking bookcases.

“I didn’t realise that there was a wrong way, to be honest,” Desmond said, “but it just goes to show that you learn something new every day.”

Claire knew where the diner was; they’d eaten there on their first trip to Storybrooke when they’d just been getting a feel for the town, but it felt safer going in with Desmond, especially when the owner greeted him with a smile and an admonishment for staying away for so long. It gave her hope. If Desmond could be so easily accepted after spending comparatively little time there, then there was every chance that the same could be said of her and Kate and Aaron.

“How are Penny and the little one?” the woman behind the counter asked. She had grey hair and a matronly air about her, and Claire knew that she had to be the eponymous Granny that the diner was named for.

“They’re doing grand, thanks, although Charlie’s not so little anymore. He’s shooting up like a beanstalk. They’ll probably be in tomorrow, you can say hello to them then.”

“That’s good, I’d like to see them. Are you staying long this time? You know that you’re always welcome here.”

“Not long, Granny. We’re just here helping a move-in. This is my friend Claire, she’s just come to live here. Claire, this is Mrs Lucas.”

“Everyone calls me Granny.” She shook Claire’s hand over the counter then began packing all their food into carrier bags. “You were up here a couple of months ago, weren’t you, looking at property. You and another lady and a little boy.”

Claire smiled. “Yes, Kate and Aaron. We’re moving in today.”

“Where are you living now?”

Claire gave her the address and Granny nodded sagely.

“That’s one of Gold’s places.”

“Yes, it is.”

Claire got the feeling that there was something hanging unsaid in the air, something that Granny wanted to say but didn’t feel like it would be appropriate. She kept looking at Claire closely, and not for the first time, Claire wondered if she could read minds, and was somehow unlocking all of the secrets that she’d been guarding ever since the island. Considering the somewhat strange and secretive circumstances that they’d been living in for three years, Claire wasn’t exactly surprised that she might look suspicious and that everyone else wherever they moved to would want to try and get to the bottom of it, but Claire remained tight-lipped. She hadn’t been here long enough to start divulging information to practical strangers.

“Well, if you ever need anything, you know where to find me,” Granny said, handing over the food. “Anything at all.”

Although it was reassuring to know that they already had a willing friend, there was something about the gesture that made Claire feel rather uncomfortable, and she had the feeling it was something to do with Mr Gold.

“Desmond,” she began as they were walking back towards the house. “What do you know about Mr Gold?”

“The one you’re renting off?”

“Well, yes, unless you know of any other Mr Golds in the town.”

“I don’t really think that there’s all that much to say,” Desmond said. “I don’t know him well. No-one does, I think that’s the point. He owns a lot of property in the town and as far as I can tell he’s got fingers in a lot of pies, but he seems to keep himself to himself for the most part. There are all sorts of rumours about him, but I think that you get that anywhere.”

“Granny didn’t seem to like him.”

“Well, you can’t please everyone. I think the general consensus is that he’s a strict landlord but as long as you pay your rent on time you shouldn’t have any trouble with him. He’s been pleasant enough on the few occasions that I’ve spoken to him, I don’t think that you’ll have anything to worry about. And if you do have any trouble, Granny will sort you out. She has a crossbow, you know.”

Claire just looked at Desmond. “I really didn’t need to know that. Besides, I think that Kate and I are more than capable of taking care of ourselves. After the island, I think that we can handle an irate landlord.”

It wasn’t really Granny’s cool reaction to Gold that had her worried. It was more that she was trying to gauge what the town’s reaction to her and Kate was going to be once they were established and the residents of Storybrooke knew that they weren’t going to be going anywhere in a hurry. They had seemed welcoming enough so far, but if they were suspicious of Gold keeping himself to himself, then they were likely to be even more suspicious of her and all the strangeness that surrounded her.

They arrived back at the house and Claire was distracted from her train of thought by the necessaries of doling out food and drinks to all the hungry unpackers. The house was a complete mess and despite all the furniture having been brought in, there was nowhere to sit, so they had a picnic on the floor, Aaron and Charlie playing in the corner with the few toys that Kate had managed to unearth from a box.

“I understand that Aaron managed to second the landlord into helping you do DIY,” James said.

Claire groaned at the memory, ketchup-dunked fries halfway to her mouth.

“Yeah, don’t remind me. It’s bad enough moving to a new place and trying to make the right impression without things like that happening.”

“It sounds like the beginning of every cheesy rom-com,” Frank said, sounding almost wistful. “Single mother moves to new town, child plays matchmaker with the landlord, classic Hollywood ending.”

Claire shook her head. “That would be great, Frank, except I’m really not looking for a Hollywood ending at the moment. I just want to be able to get on with life with no distractions and nothing to worry about. Something nice and peaceful, you know.”

“I know, I’m just teasing. Don’t dismiss it out of hand, though.”

Unpacking continued after dinner, with Claire continuing to set Aaron’s new room to rights so that he could start back on his usual routine as soon as possible. There were still a few cases with clothes and books to unpack by the time he was in bed, but that could wait until the morning once she and Kate had got a bit more of their own lives sorted out and put into new places. It had been hard to get him to go to sleep; he was so excited about being in a new town and a new home that he was practically bouncing up and down on his mattress. Once he was finally asleep, Claire stayed hovering in the doorway for a long time, watching him breathing.

There was something about Frank’s words that had touched a nerve somewhere within her that she hadn’t even realised still existed. After everything that she had been through, first with Thomas leaving, and then with Charlie dying, and then with going mad on the island on her own, Claire had thought that romance was officially over for her. She’d had her chances and they’d not turned out, so she wasn’t going to get anymore.

She hadn’t really thought about it until now. After the island she’d been too focussed on getting herself better and getting herself back into a position where she could take care of Aaron. She’d been so reliant on her friends, especially Kate, that she hadn’t entertained the idea of perhaps finding someone to love again. She had Aaron after all, and he was all she needed.

It was only since Frank had mentioned it so casually that she had been considering the possibilities. This was a fresh start for them after all. A new life in a new town, away from everything that had been holding her back in New York. This was supposed to be the last stage of her recovery and her reintegration into a normal life. Why shouldn’t a relationship be a part of that?

She shook her head, moving out of the doorway and going back downstairs to where the others were still talking. It could never work. She’d been through too much to be any good in a relationship. She wouldn’t even know where to begin, and even if she did find someone, there was no guarantee that they would be able to handle her and all the baggage that she came with, not only Aaron and co-parenting with Kate, but also all the mental baggage that she was going to be carrying around for the foreseeable future.

“Everything ok?” Kate asked.

Claire nodded. It had been a good day, although tiring. It was only her own thoughts that were turning against her now, and she could deal with those.

At length, the others left for their beds for the night and Kate and Claire were alone in the living room, sleeping bags spread out side by side. It was just like when they had escaped the island and had been hiding in the Others’ safehouse in Guam whilst Richard tried to get their lives back on track and reintegrate them into society with as little fuss as possible. Claire didn’t like to remember those days. As well as the overwhelming sense of euphoria that had accompanied her final escape from the hell that she’d been living in for the past three years, there was also the horrible, crippling dread of returning to a world that she had been so far removed from. Would she ever be the same again? Would she ever be able to see Aaron again?

Of course, those fears were null and void now. She was much better than she was before, and Aaron was here and calling her Mommy and she couldn’t have asked for anything more.

Except maybe an off switch for her brain when she was overthinking everything.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Kate asked from her sleeping bag. She reached across and took Claire’s hand, and Claire squeezed back.

“Yeah.” She sighed. “Just lost in thought, you know. Do you think that we’re going to be happy here?”

Kate nodded. “Yeah, I think so. We can wipe the slate clean and start again, none of the worries of New York.”

“Starting over. We could almost be normal.”

“I don’t think we’ll ever be normal.” Kate laughed, but Claire didn’t.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she muttered.

Kate squeezed her hand again. “You’ll get there. We all will. I promise.”

Claire closed her eyes. All she needed to do was have a little faith, and perhaps, normality would come.


	3. Chapter 3

They were officially moved in. Well, sort of. Everything was reassembled and most of the things that had been inside boxes were no longer inside boxes. Everyone who had come to help them move had taken their leave and made their way back to their own homes, with promises to come and visit soon once Kate and Claire were settled in their new lives.

The only mess that really remained was in Kate’s bedroom, and she crouched on the floor in the midst of all the boxes, sitting back on her heels. She always hated unpacking. It never felt right, always leaving her worried that she was being lulled into a false sense of security. She had spent so much time on the run, always ready to leave a place at a moment’s notice, that actually unpacking and making a new room into a proper and permanent home always felt strange.

Deep down, she knew that was the reason why she hadn’t unpacked yet, and why she was making no move to unpack now. She’d put it off ever since the boxes of her possessions had been put into the room, always finding something else to do, tidying up the rest of the rooms in the house or distracting Aaron so that Claire and the others could get on with doing things without having him underfoot all the time.

Now though, Aaron had grown fractious and boisterous having spent so long cooped up indoors and being kept out of the way of moving furniture, and Claire had taken him out for a walk to try and work off some of his pent-up energy so that he could hopefully get a better night’s sleep than the previous couple and settle back into something that vaguely resembled routine. He would be starting at the elementary school in a couple of months and Kate and Claire wanted to make sure that he was absolutely ready with no lasting issues from their upheaval. The last thing that they needed was any stress from that quarter.

Kate sat down on the floor properly, surveying the boxes but not really seeing them. She couldn’t believe that Aaron was going to school. It didn’t seem a minute since she had sat with him in her lap at the press conference in Hawaii and told the world that he was hers, firmly believing every word that she said. It didn’t seem a minute since she had introduced him to Claire and said that he was going to have two mommies for a while. It didn’t seem a minute since she and Claire had decided that ‘a while’ was going to be ‘probably forever’, and Aaron was perfectly happy with having both his moms in his life all the time.

Life in Storybrooke was going to be different; she knew that, and she was prepared for it. Perhaps there was something in what James had said, about her having itchy feet. She only hoped that they wouldn’t get itchy again too soon, and she knew that the best way to keep roots down was actually to put them down in the first place.

Unpacking was going to be key to that, but in that moment, Kate didn’t think that she could face it just yet. They had really fallen on their feet with this place here and it hadn’t quite sunk in. The foreboding feeling of having found paradise only to have it swept out from under her feet again was still there, and she didn’t know how to get rid of it. It wasn’t something that she felt that she could discuss with Claire, because Claire had never known it herself.

Kate jumped up to her feet and left the room. She needed a break from unpacking before she started tackling her own room and the things that were personal, the things that she would never want to leave behind if she did have to leave in a hurry. Sustenance was required, and a breath of fresh air. Now that she didn’t have Aaron as an excuse to distract her, she was going to have to go it alone, and to that end, she found herself wending her way in the direction of the diner. It was a homey place, and the food and drink there were certainly excellent, but she’d never really spent much time in there whilst they’d been staying on their reconnaissance mission. She and Claire had been too preoccupied with house-hunting and Aaron to give much mind to what was going on in the rest of the town, but this seemed like a good opportunity to people-watch.

She slid onto a seat at the counter and ordered a coffee; the waitress who brought it over gave a huge smile.

“You’ve just moved into the empty place on Shell Drive, haven’t you?” she asked. “We saw the vans earlier. It’s a beautiful house; I’m glad that someone’s finally living there.”

Kate smiled. “Yeah, we’ve just come from New York.”

“Wanted to get away from the big city, huh?”

“Yep.”

“Well, as you’ll soon find out, Storybrooke’s about as far away from the big city as you can get. If there’s anything to be known, then you can find out about it here at the diner. Everyone comes in and out all the time. There isn’t really another gathering place. Well, there’s the Rabbit Hole if you like kind of seedy bars and hustling pool.”

Kate snorted. “I’ve got a kid, I don’t think that seedy bars and hustling pool are going to be on my radar for a while.”

“Well, if you ever do want a break, Violet Knight’s a great babysitter.”

“Thanks.” Kate took a sip of her coffee. Yes, Storybrooke was definitely the kind of place where everyone knew everyone else, and she wasn’t really sure how that was going to fare for her and Claire. It was quiet, certainly, but the quieter a place, the louder the whispers that could be passed between people.

She glanced around the diner at the other patrons in there; families, couples, individuals. None of them were paying her any attention despite her being the new girl in town and the natural source of gossip. Perhaps things wouldn’t be so bad.

“I’m Ruby, by the way.” The waitress held out her hand. “Sorry if I’m talking too much. It’s just nice when we get new faces in town. At this rate I’m going to scare them all away.”

“Kate.”

They shook hands, and Kate let Ruby top up her coffee.

“So, are you all unpacked?”

“Not yet. Mostly. It’s just my room. I swear Claire has more stuff than I do and I don’t know how she’s managed to get her room organised so quickly.” She turned her head on one side as she saw Ruby give her the briefest of funny looks. “Is something the matter?”

Ruby shook her head.

“No, just me being stupid and jumping to conclusions.” Kate raised an eyebrow, and she sighed and continued. “I’d assumed that you and Claire were, you know. Together. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Not at all, I mean, that’s just what I thought when I saw that you were moving in and had a kid together, I just…” She trailed off. “I’ll shut up now. I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s ok. Claire and I aren’t a couple. We’re just friends who have a kid together. It’s a very long story.”

Not one that she was willing to share with someone she’d only just met. Both Kate and Claire were used to people mistaking them for a same-sex couple, and most of the time they didn’t bother making the correction, but since Ruby had brought the misunderstanding out into the open, she might as well set her straight.

“Ok.”

Ruby didn’t pry any further, and the talk turned to the town’s various attractions, mainly the extensive forest that surrounded the place and the ice cream parlour, until Kate realised just how long she’d been sitting at the counter and that Claire and Aaron would probably be arriving back at the house any minute to find her gone without trace.

“I guess I’ll see you around,” she said as she slipped off the stool and made her way out of the diner.

“Well, you can nearly always find me here if you want any more local wisdom. Or, you know, idiocy.” Ruby gestured around the diner, and Kate smiled. Despite her perky and upbeat demeanour, there was something in Ruby’s countenance that she recognised. She felt that she had found a kindred spirit of sorts. Ruby, Kate was certain, had some degree of itchy feet, but whilst Kate had had her taste of adventure and was now happy to settle down, Ruby was still waiting for her chance.

She thought about their conversation as she made her way home, and she really wished that she wasn’t fixating on the way that Ruby’s cheeks had gone as red as the streaks in her hair when she realised her mistake concerning Kate and Claire’s relationship. She had come to Storybrooke for peace and quiet and to start over, not to develop crushes on cute, chatty, and slightly flustered waitresses.

X

Wandering along with Aaron in the direction of home – at least she hoped it was the direction of home – Claire stopped outside an unassuming shop on the corner.  _Mr Gold, Pawnbroker and Antiquities Dealer_.

When they had signed the lease and claimed the keys, they had done so in a small office in the town hall that was obviously not his regular working place but handy for getting documents notarised. This, she assumed, was her landlord’s usual place of work, and she thought back to what Desmond had said about him being a man with fingers in many pies.

“Aaron, I’m just going to pop in here for a minute,” she said, moving towards the door. Aaron followed her without comment, but he furrowed his brow as they passed the shop window.

“It looks kind of dark inside,” he said. “Is it open?”

“Well, the sign says it is. Let’s take a look.”

“Why?”

“Because I think that the man who owns our house is here, and I want to say hello to him.”

Aaron gave a good-natured shrug and followed her into the shop. Once she was inside, the tinkle of the traditional bell over the door still chiming in her ears, Claire had to rethink Aaron’s question. Why did she want to come in here and say hello to Mr Gold? It wasn’t as if they were anything more than acquaintances and she knew nothing about him. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen him for a long time either; it was only two days since they had been assembling Aaron’s bed together. All the same, there was something about him that made her want to see him again and find out a little more about him and what he did in the town.

She told herself that it was so that she knew where to come if there were any problems with the house, not for any other more frivolous reason, and it was somewhat hypocritical that she wanted to know more about him when she categorically did not want him to know anything about her. She really didn’t want to scare him off.

Aaron had wandered away from her side to look at the glass display cabinets, stuffed to the brim with all kinds of collectibles, and Claire found herself still stationary in the doorway, wondering what she was going to do next and why she’d come in here in the first place.

It was a beautiful shop, she couldn’t deny that. Aaron was right, it was very dark inside and whilst that wasn’t exactly to her taste, it did give the place a sense of old-timey magic, as if she’d stepped back into the past as she’d come in through the door. There were nick-nacks everywhere, and she wondered how Mr Gold ever managed to find anything in here.

“Can I help you?”

The man in question’s voice brought her back into the present and Claire looked up to see him coming through the curtain that separated the shop off from the back room.

“No, just looking,” she said. “I saw your name over the door and thought, well…” She tailed off, because she wasn’t really sure what she’d thought.

Gold smiled. “That’s all right. Feel free to browse. How are you getting on?”

“We’re fine, thank you. All the furniture’s been reassembled so Kate and I aren’t sleeping on the living room floor anymore.”

“And how is your partner?”

“She’s doing fine. It’s a very different life from New York, that’s for sure.” It was blissfully quieter, for one thing. She hadn’t really noticed it until she had left the bustle of the city, but Claire realised now just how incredibly  _noisy_  New York had been. “And we’re not together, we’re just friends, and co-parents. It’s complicated.”

She wondered if she had said too much, but Gold just gave a nod of acceptance. God, this was awkward, why had she even come in here in the first place?

Luckily, or unluckily, she was saved from ruminating on her decisions any further by the metallic crash of something falling to the floor and Aaron’s small ‘oops’ from one of the display cabinets. Claire’s eyes widened, her hands flying to her mouth as she saw the clock that was now lying on the polished floorboards looking somewhat worse for wear.

“Aaron, be careful!” she squeaked, naturally too late. She looked over at Gold, mortified. “I’m so sorry, I’ll pay for the damage.”

“It’s all right,” Gold said. He came around the counter and limped over to the fallen clock, picking up the pieces and setting them on the counter. “It’s an easy fix, no harm done.” He hooked his cane into the crook of his elbow and beckoned Aaron closer; Claire followed him and watched, as enthralled as her son, as he slotted the pieces back into place and wound the clock up again so that it showed the right time.

“There we are, as good as new,” he said.

“Aaron, what do you say?”

“Sorry, Mr Gold.”

“It’s all right. My own son was always doing the same thing when he was your age. I can quite understand why, even I’m fascinated by most of the things in here and I own the place. You can touch anything that’s out on the side, it doesn’t matter if those things get dropped or broken. The valuable things are all safe in the cabinets. Like this one, see.”

He crouched down and pointed through the glass at the antique tea set that was on display there, delicate fine bone china that Claire would be scared to drink out of for fear of breaking it.

“It’s so pretty,” Aaron said, his voice full of admiration. “You like tea, Mommy Claire. Maybe you could get a tea set like this.”

“I tend to prefer my tea in as big a mug as I can get.” Claire laughed.

“Yeah, your morning tea mug is bigger than my head,” Aaron said, before losing interest in the tea set and moving away to look at some guitars that were mounted on the wall and thankfully out of his reach.

“It’s not that big!” Claire protested. She glanced over at Gold, but he was just smiling, and very obviously trying not to laugh.

“Oh, I understand,” he said, getting to his feet again. “I’m a tea drinker myself. The more the merrier.”

_What separates us from these savage yanks if we can’t drink tea?_  Claire remembered Charlie’s words on the island, and smiled to herself.

“Do you have any plans yet?” Gold asked. “For what you’re going to do now that you’re here in the town?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought.”

Between the various transactions that were carried out on their behalf by Richard and the Others, she and Kate had enough money that they could afford not to work for a little while, and moving out of the city into a smaller town had certainly helped in that regard, but Claire knew that she couldn’t do nothing all day or she would go crazy again with nothing to occupy her mind. Kate had worked various little odd jobs throughout their stay in New York, letting Claire focus on her physical and mental recovery. Now though, Claire wanted to get back to as near to normal as possible.

“I like art,” she said. Art therapy was one thing that had helped her through the last three years, managing to get back to something that she’d enjoyed before the island. “If I could make some money doing that, then that would be my ideal life.”

“Well, I know you’ve only just rented one property from me, but I own empty studio space down by the docks if you ever want to think about it in the future.”

It seemed a big step, doing it properly and getting a studio, and not one that Claire was ready to take, but at the same time, it was nice to be thinking about the future.

It was nice to actually have a future to be able to think about.

They stayed in the shop for a little while longer, with Aaron asking multitudes of questions about all the various niche items that Mr Gold had on display. To his credit, the man answered every single one and showed no signs of being annoyed at the incessant interrogation. Well, if he had kids himself then he was probably used to it.

All the same, when they finally did leave the shop to go back home and see how Kate was getting on with the rest of her unpacking, Claire felt herself feeling a lot more at ease. The fact that their landlord was so good with Aaron made her foresee a much brighter future here. Their home was definitely a home, and Mr Gold, the man who would ultimately be the key to their happiness there, was on their side.

Claire thought again about what Frank had said the other day, about it being the start of a stereotypical grand romance. She’d already set the record straight that she and Kate weren’t a couple, but no doubt that would lead to some more awkward questions down the line as to what exactly they were if they weren’t together. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything, and she ought to have just let him continue in his misunderstanding.

Maybe there was something in her subconscious that had corrected the mistake purposefully because she wanted to let him know that she was single.

She shook herself crossly. This was not what she had come to Storybrooke to do. She wasn’t ready for anything like that. She probably wasn’t ever going to be ready for anything like that again. Mr Gold certainly wasn’t ready for her, if she put it that way.

Kate was still unpacking boxes in her room when they got back.

“Hey, did you have a good time?” she asked Aaron.

“Yep. We went to see Mr Gold and I broke a clock.”

Kate raised an eyebrow and Aaron quickly added: “he fixed it though.”

“That was good of him.” She looked over at Claire, who spread her hands.

“I was mortified,” she said. “But it was all fine. No matter what Granny at the diner may think of him, he’s great with kids. Well, he’s great with Aaron, so I’m assuming that extends to other kids.”

Kate didn’t say anything, but there was a slight smirk on her face that Claire wasn’t entirely sure that she liked the look of.

It was only later, once Aaron was in bed and they were sitting on the sofa together watching the end of a documentary that Kate actually acted on that little smirk.

“So, looks like we’ve both found little crushes today,” she said.

“I do not have a crush on Mr Gold!” Claire exclaimed, although as soon as the words were out of her mouth she wasn’t sure that they were entirely truthful. It wasn’t really a crush. It was more something that might turn into a crush. “He’s our landlord, it wouldn’t be right.” She paused. “Wait, who’ve you found?”

“I went to the diner for a break whilst I was unpacking. There’s a waitress there, Ruby. She’s really sweet.”

Claire grinned. “Well, I think that you’re probably on a better track than I am.”

“I don’t know. He seemed quite happy to help you with DIY, after all.”

They fell into silence, and Claire fell to thinking, wishing that love was not so completely out of her reach.


	4. Chapter 4

Summer turned into autumn and Aaron started at the elementary school as the weather began to turn for the worse on a more permanent basis than it had been before. It felt strange without Aaron in the house. It felt strange being alone in the house altogether. Claire wandered around the empty rooms, not really able to settle to anything. She was suffering from cabin fever, but she didn’t really have any desire to go outside.

Kate had found herself a job up at the riding stables on the edge of town; she’d always been the outdoor sort and would never have been happy cooped up in an office all day temping, and it got her out of the house for a few hours every day. All Claire needed to do was find something for herself that would give her the same independence.

She’d never anticipated being a stay at home mum, even when once she’d had Aaron and knew that she was going to keep him. In those first couple of months before Not-Locke had taken her mind, when she’d envisaged being rescued and living with Aaron back in Sydney, she’d never seen herself as a homemaker.

Throughout her recovery after the island, however, it was the role that she had fallen into as she wasn’t well enough to hold down any kind of regular employment and she didn’t want anyone looking too closely into her history. Now, she wanted to do something.

She ducked back into her bedroom and looked at her painting things that were set up on a table by the window. She and Kate and Aaron took regular walks along the beach when the rain wasn’t pouring down, and Claire had painstakingly cleaned and decorated all the shells and bits of driftwood that Aaron proudly collected and presented to her. As time had gone on, so her designs had become more and more elaborate, and she had become more and more immersed in the art that she was creating.

It was only when Desmond, on one of his weekly check-in calls, had suggested that she start selling them off that Claire had really thought about perhaps getting into business. It made sense. If people were willing to buy her artwork, then she was more than willing to make it and sell it. It would give her a nice little side line without being dependent on Kate and the funds from Richard and the Others, and she could set her own working hours. If she was having a bad day, then she didn’t need to show up.

Claire remembered what Mr Gold had said about studio space down by the docks. Well, it couldn’t hurt to look at it, could it? And if she used it as an excuse to see Mr Gold again in a capacity that wasn’t just handing him a rent check every month, well, that was neither here nor there and no-one else needed to know about that.

She’d tried to avoid him after that first conversation in his shop when Aaron had broken the clock, partly out of embarrassment at the clock incident and partly because she really didn’t know if she was ready to confront the things that she was thinking about him. Out of sight, out of mind, that was always the best way. If she never had to speak to him, then she never had to think about him and think about how good-looking he was, in an unconventional, older man sort of way, and how much she really did want to get to know him better without him getting to know her any better.

Claire sighed, packing some of her painted wares into her bag. He might want to see samples of her artwork, she reasoned, if he was going to let her loose in his space as a workshop. 

It was never going to work, as much as Kate seemed to be encouraging her. She had too many secrets ever to be in a successful relationship. There was too much about herself that she needed to keep hidden. He might be able to live with Aaron and her co-parenting relationship with Kate, but there was much more to it all than that. For all the progress she had made during the last few years, the overarching idea of The Island Made Me Crazy was still there in the back of her mind. It wasn’t going to be something that she could ever get away from and no-one deserved to have to deal with that in a relationship.

Determining to think no more about Mr Gold except in a purely professional manner, Claire left the house and made her way along the road to the pawn shop.

He was in there, like he normally was. Claire didn’t think that she’d ever seen him anywhere except in the shop, or sometimes out on the street when he was doing the rent rounds. They never bumped into him in the diner or the library or anywhere else that he might feasibly spend time in the town. She wondered if he was hiding away from something just as much as she was.

He looked up as she came in, smiling in recognition.

“Miss Shepherd, it’s lovely to see you. What can I do for you today? Is everything all right with the house?”

Claire nodded. “Yes, everything’s fine. And please call me Claire.” She had never been able to get used to the new name. Claire Littleton had died on the Oceanic 815 flight, so she was never going to be able to use her own, but it still felt strange to be using her father’s name. She hadn’t had any say in her new identity when Richard had been organising it for her and he’d gone with things that would be easy to remember and had a veiled little element of truth in them should they be scrutinised.

“Very well, Claire. How can I help you?”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said about studio space,” she said. “I’ve been painting a lot recently and I was thinking about setting up a little business. It would be nice to have somewhere separate to work instead of cluttering up the house with all my paints. And it would get me out of the house in the first place.”

“Of course. I can show you now if you have time.”

Claire nodded. Aaron didn’t get out of school for another couple of hours, so she had plenty of time before she had to go and collect him. It was Ruby’s night off from the diner and Kate had organised to go and meet her for a drink in Storybrooke’s only bar after she got off work, so she didn’t need to worry about her either.

Mr Gold came out from behind the counter and flipped the sign in the door to closed as he opened it for her.

“Do you mind if we drive?” he asked, indicating the sleek black Cadillac parked up outside the shop. “It’s not very far to walk but with the turn in the weather, my ankle’s playing up.”

“That’s fine, Mr Gold.”

“Aiden.”

“Pardon?”

“Aiden.” He smiled. “It feels strange calling you Claire whilst you’re still calling me Mr Gold. My name is Aiden.”

Claire put that information into the back of her mind carefully. She’d never heard anyone in the town refer to Mr Gold by his first name, even those who were on good terms with him, and even though they were now on first name terms, she still couldn’t get to grips with just how easily and readily he had given her his. She glanced over at him in the driver’s seat as they set off along the road towards the docks. The little smile was still on his face, and she found it infectious. Maybe she was the only one who knew his name, and if she was, then she was going to enjoy that privilege.

It did strike her as they drove that this was the beginning of almost every teen slasher film ever made, the solitary older man driving the younger woman out to a remote part of town and murdering her in some brutal way, but she didn’t feel any fear. In fact, she was surprised by how at ease she was. Perhaps it was because he didn’t pry or try to make small talk. This was just a business trip to look at some property, nothing more.

They reached the docks within a few minutes and Aiden let them into an old, nondescript building, and up to the second floor. The space he showed her was clean and well-maintained despite being empty, and there was a large window looking out to the ocean.

“The other spaces in the building are all let out,” Aiden explained. “There’s a jewellery maker and a ceramics studio downstairs, but they shouldn’t give you any bother.”

Claire nodded, moving over to the window so that she could take a look at the view.

“It’s lovely,” she said. “If I’d known it was going to have such a great view then I would have brought my sketchbook.”

“Well, it’s yours if you want it,” Aiden said. He came over, standing beside her. “What medium do you use?”

“Acrylics,” Claire said. “Sometimes on canvas, sometimes on other things. Don’t worry, your walls would be safe.”

Aiden chuckled. “To be honest, the place could do with a bit of colour.” He looked around at the drab, white-washed walls. “What kind of things would you be looking to sell?”

Claire searched around in her bag for one of the shells she’d brought with her, holding it out to him.

“Aaron always loves collecting the shells off the beach,” she said. “At this rate there aren’t going to be any left, so I thought I might as well make something of them.”

“It’s lovely.” He turned it over, looking at the intricate patterns. “How much?”

“Seriously? That’s just a little prototype I did yesterday, it’s nothing special.”

“No, I’m serious. I’ll be your first customer.”

“Mr Gold… Aiden… I don’t even know if I’m going to take the studio yet, let alone actually set up anything out of it.” She looked at him, but he was entirely in earnest, and there was a little pink tinge in his cheeks that had definitely not been there before.

“Fifty cents,” she said eventually.

“You’re really not going to turn a profit if that’s your pricing system.” Nonetheless, he took a coin out of his pocket and pressed it into her hand. “Can I at least buy you coffee to make up the difference?”

Claire blinked. Was he asking her out? Was this just coffee or was this a coffee date? What should she say? As things stood, she really did like the idea of him buying her coffee and wanted to take him up on it, and there was no reason why she shouldn’t. On the other hand, there were probably several reasons why she shouldn’t which would make themselves known as soon as she had accepted.

“I can’t right now,” she said. “I have to go and get Aaron from school.”

“Fair enough. Tomorrow morning then?”

Claire nodded. “Yes. That sounds good. I’ll see you at Granny’s at ten?”

“Granny’s at ten it is.”

He drove her back into the town and dropped her on the corner by the school before heading back towards the shop, and Claire sat down on the bench outside the gates, waiting for Aaron to come out and watching the Cadillac disappear around the corner. Had that really just happened? Did she really have a date?

X

It was a long time since Kate had been on what could really be called a date, and it had been even longer since she had been on a date whilst she was being completely herself and not pretending to be someone else.

She was adjusting to small-town life a lot better than she had anticipated when she and Claire had first made the move to Storybrooke, and she knew that not having to wear a mask all the time was part of it. The fact that Aaron had taken to the place like a duck to water helped as well; seeing him and Claire so happy here made Kate feel like it was the right place for her to be as well.

Of course, there was always some degree of obfuscation going on when it came to their identities; they were never going to be able to tell the rest of the town everything about themselves and their real names had been lost to the Island now, but Kate was still Kate Austen in everything but surname, and perhaps knowing that she no longer needed to run from anything at a moment’s notice had helped her to find her feet here in the town.

Ruby was an excellent pool player; Kate’s own skills were rusty having not played for so long, but despite losing every game they had played by what was probably the world’s worst margin, she was having great fun. As Ruby had warned her earlier, the Rabbit Hole wasn’t the most salubrious of bars, with the floor sticky and covered in peanut shells and the glasses looking distinctly grimy, but it was cheap, and it was somewhere different to the diner.

It made Kate remember that she wasn’t just Aaron’s mom; she was her own person as well, and she ought to make the most of that.

It had taken her a little while to get to grips with the idea of starting a new relationship so soon after all the upheaval of their move, but the more she kept putting off making any concrete decisions, the more she kept finding herself thinking about Ruby and wondering what if. Claire had encouraged her despite being even more reticent in her own love life than Kate was, but Kate knew the reasons for that and hadn’t pushed her. In the end, once she’d realised that they’d been moved in for nearly three months and she’d been prevaricating without making any decisions for nearly the same length of time, she decided that enough was enough.

Storybrooke was her home now. It wasn’t a place to lie low and keep out of sight whilst Claire recovered; it wasn’t a place to hide out in whilst she was on the run, knowing that she would have to move on again sooner rather than later. She would be spending years here, even if not the rest of her life. It made sense to try and put down some roots here, and to live a full and happy life. She was a Gemini after all, as Claire had correctly guessed on that first morning whilst they were sorting out the suitcases. Restless she was and always had been, although that part of her personality had been calmed in recent years since the Island and the arrival of Aaron in her life. Passionate she still was, and if she had the opportunity to share that with someone, then she didn’t see why she shouldn’t take advantage of it.

Ruby potted the black and stood up straight, grinning as she leaned on her cue.

“You know, I think we’re going to have to do this again sometime soon,” she said. “You need all the practice that you can get.”

Kate snorted. “You can say that again.”

“Hey, it’s ok, I’ll go easy on you next time. Maybe deliberately miss a few shots.”

“Don’t you dare.” Kate drained her beer and went to set up the balls again for a final game before she would have to head home. It wasn’t the first time that she’d left Claire and Aaron alone in an evening before, but she still didn’t want to stay out too late as she knew that Claire would be worried about her. They had been so close to each other and such a big part of each other’s lives for the last three years that it did feel strange, moving on and branching out and getting other friends, and more than friends. It was going to take getting used to, the fact that they were both carving out separate lives for themselves now.

There was nothing that Kate wanted more than for them to gain a little independence, but there was no sense in doing it all at once. They had all the time in the world here in Storybrooke, so they might as well use it.

“If I’m going to beat you, then I’m going to beat you fair and square,” she said, and proceeded to miss the first ball entirely.

Ruby raised an eyebrow. “Are you absolutely sure that you don’t want me to make it a little easier for you?”

“Yes. This is a matter of pride!”

“Well, it certainly makes a change from massaging the guys’ bruised egos.” Ruby looked around at that other patrons of the bar who had been watching the pool game with interest, even more interest than usual since it was clear that none of them were going to get invited to join in at any point and that Ruby had made her lack of attraction towards them clear; they were probably hoping for some girl-on-girl-on-pool-table action. Kate smirked to herself. They were going to be disappointed if that was what they were after.

This was the kind of place that she could see James in, or rather the kind of place that she could see him in before he came to the Island. These days he’d probably be staring down the guys sitting at the bar to get them to stop ogling the two women trying to enjoy a date.

They’d all changed from their time there, not just her and Claire.

Kate shook herself out of that train of thought and focused on the pool table in front of her. Whilst she didn’t regret the time she’d had with James before she left the Island the first time, she didn’t regret it ending either. Ultimately they were too similar to be more than friends, which was what made their friendship so strong.

She managed to hold her own in the final game a little better than she’d done in the first couple but was still soundly beaten by Ruby.

“We’re definitely doing this again,” she said as they left the bar. Her competitive streak had returned with a vengeance and she was itching to get back into practice.

“Of course.” Ruby grinned. “It’s nice to play with someone who I wouldn’t mind losing to, even if I haven’t lost yet.”

Kate just stuck her tongue out at her and they both ended up laughing.

“We could make it more interesting next time though,” Ruby continued. “Play with forfeits or something like that. Maybe it would give you more incentive to win.”

“Depends on the forfeits. It might give me more incentive to lose. What kind of thing did you have in mind?”

“Well, normally when I’m playing with the guys it’s usually just the loser buys the drinks.” Ruby’s tongue darted out over her lips. “Maybe we could do something different though.”

“Winner gets to kiss the loser?” Kate suggested. “That would definitely give me some incentive.”

Ruby smiled. “All right.” She paused. “Can I collect on tonight’s winnings now?”

“Go for it.”

Ruby’s lips were soft and pliant, a little nervous but definitely eager, and Kate smiled against her mouth.

“Just you wait,” she said once they broke away. “Next time, the tables will be turned.”

Ruby’s smile was positively luminescent. “I’m looking forward to it.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Starting Over**

**Five**

“You’re so cute when you’re flustered.”

Claire stopped her pacing up and down the living room and glared at Kate.

“Kate! Can you try and be serious? This is a big thing!”

“I know it is, and I know how much it means to you, but I’m working on the principle that if I can make light of the situation then it’ll hopefully stop you from being so stressed out about the whole thing and make everything go smoothly.”

Claire sank down onto the sofa with a sigh. Her toes were turned in towards each other and Kate had to wonder at just how small and young she looked sitting there alone.

“You know, I really don’t think that this is as big a thing as you’re making it out to be,” she said.

“It’s all right for you to say that,” Claire snapped. “You’re not the one who’s crazy. You have a great girlfriend and you’re going from strength to strength with her and you don’t have to worry about her finding out that you’re possibly certifiable!”

Kate shook her head. “You’re not crazy, Claire. You never were. Everyone told you that you were, including the man who gave you all the problems in the first place.” She came across the room and settled on the sofa next to Claire, pulling her into a hug. It was all very well trying to lighten the mood and get Claire to laugh along with her, but it would never work if Claire was too stressed out by everything to see the funny side, and after all the progress that Claire had made since coming to Storybrooke and getting out of the crushing city that only fed her anxiety, the last thing that Kate wanted was for her to begin backsliding.

“I am crazy,” Claire muttered. “Who would ever want to go out with someone like me?”

“Gold does.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t know.” Claire stared down at her turned in toes. “He thinks I’m perfectly normal.”

“You are perfectly normal. You’ve just had some difficulties in the past, that’s all. But you’re moving on from them. Come on, Claire, you can’t say that you’re in the same place now as you were when you left the island.” She squeezed her a little tighter. “You’ve been doing so well. What exactly is it that you’re worried about?”

Claire didn’t reply for a long time, but finally she met Kate’s eyes.

“I don’t really know,” she admitted. “When we were just getting coffee together, I was fine. It was great. But suddenly, now that we’ve moved on from coffee to dinner, it feels like a huge leap. This is serious now.”

“And that’s a good thing. You’re moving on, you’re building this relationship up into something that’s actually a relationship. It’s got some definition now.”

“Yeah. That’s what I’m worried about.” She paused, and finally the truth came out in one long rush of words. “I’m worried that I want it too much. I like him too much and I want this relationship too much. Back when we were just getting coffee and chatting in the diner, I could pretend that it wasn’t that serious and it didn’t matter if it didn’t end up going anywhere, or if he found out that I wasn’t all right in the head and decided to break it all off. Now, we’re actually dating. There’s definitely romantic overtones in there now. And if something happens and it all goes wrong, then it’s going to be harder for me to take it.”

“Nothing’s going to go wrong,” Kate said firmly. “If you go into it thinking that something’s bound to happen, then it will happen. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. You’re bright, you’re smart, you’re beautiful, Gold’s been making puppy-eyes at you in the diner for I don’t know how long…”

“He has not!” A laugh erupted from Claire at last, and humour shone in her eyes. Kate just raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe you were just too loved up to see it yourself, but believe me, I’ve noticed when I’ve come in whilst you’ve been in there on your little coffee dates. He’s certainly smitten, and if you think that he’s going to throw you under the bus the minute he knows about… well… the things you don’t want him to know about, then you need to rethink.”

Claire gave a little smile, and her posture began to change, her back straightening and her shoulders no longer hunching up.

“Really?” she asked shyly.

Kate nodded. “Really. Now, unless I’m very much mistaken he’s walking up the path now like a perfect gentleman out of an eighties prom-night film so get your butt off this sofa and go and enjoy yourself!”

Claire giggled and got up off the sofa, giving Aaron a hug and kiss to the top of his head as he ran into the room to say goodbye to her. Kate lifted him up onto the windowsill so that he could wave to her as she left the house and met Gold halfway down the path. He offered her his free arm, and she took it with a smile, looking back over her shoulder to wave.

Kate gave a happy sigh and leaned back against the window as Aaron went back to playing. As frustrating as it was to see Claire second-guessing herself like this, she mainly just felt sadness that even after all this time, Claire’s confidence in herself could still be so shaken and it took just the slightest upset to make it wobble back into insecurity.

Seeing Claire blossom over the last couple of weeks of her little coffee dates with Gold had been wonderful, and Kate had been cheering her on from the side lines the entire time. She’d really managed to come out of her shell, and for all his reputation about the town, Gold had been really good with her, never pressuring her to tell more than she wanted about the events of the past and moving at her pace. Kate could only hope that they had nipped this latest crisis in the bud, and that Claire would come back from her evening out with the same smile as when she had left.

Her phone buzzed persistently on the end table and Aaron grabbed it, bringing it over to her.

“Ruby,” he said helpfully.

Kate grinned as she answered. No matter what was happening with the shadows of the island passing over them once more, Ruby could always make her smile.

“Hey Ruby.”

_“Hey girl. How’s it going? Claire safely off being wined and dined?”_

“Yep, she’s just left.”

_“They are sweet together. For as long as I’ve lived here, I’ve always thought of Gold as this grumpy old curmudgeon who hated everyone, but it turns out that he just needed a bit of passionate loving in his life.”_

“I’m not sure they’re at that stage yet.” Considering the pace of the courtship so far, it would be a while before anything passionate happened. As far as Kate knew, they hadn’t even kissed. “But it is cute to see them together.”

There was an innocence in their relationship, the kind that Claire had not had the chance for in her previous ones. She and Thomas had been so young when they’d first got together, and Claire was still dealing with the trauma of her mother’s accident. She’d almost had it with Charlie, but there were underlying issues there as well, with his jealousy and determination to co-parent. It felt that with Gold, he and Claire were just two people who had met and were beginning a relationship in as close to normal a manner as possible.

“So, what’s up with you?” she asked Ruby. A long sigh answered her.

_“I’ve been looking at flights again.”_ She sounded almost guilty. _“I mean, I love it here and I love Granny, and obviously, you are a huge incentive to stay, but part of me still wants to get out there and experience things before it’s too late.”_

Kate knew that feeling of itchy feet all too well.

“Where are you thinking of going?”

_“I don’t know, really. At first I thought about Canada, but then I thought that maybe I wanted to go somewhere a bit further away, as that would make it into a real adventure, rather than just a road trip over the border. Europe, probably. Spain, and Portugal. Have you ever been there?”_

“Nope.” She had moved around a lot, but international travel was difficult when you were on the run. She’d only just managed to make it to Australia and look where that had landed her. “It sounds exciting, you should go for it.”

_“Yeah.”_ Ruby’s voice was wistful. _“It’s just so expensive though, and I don’t like the thought of leaving Granny here alone. She wants me to take over the inn and the diner and I don’t want to let her down, but at the same time, it’s not exactly an exciting career move.”_

“You need to live your own life. Granny’s still got a good few years in her yet; from what I’ve seen of her she’s not likely to be retiring any time soon.”

Ruby laughed. _“No, she’s a force to be reckoned with, that’s for sure. But I’d miss her if I went away.”_ There was a long pause. _“I’d miss you.”_

Kate felt a lump catch in her throat. She would miss Ruby too, if she went travelling. It had never been explicitly mentioned, but they both knew it. If Ruby went travelling then Kate could not go with her. She had Aaron to think about, she had a permanent and settled life in Storybrooke now.

“It’s not like you’d be leaving forever,” she said, although, she knew deep down what it was like when she had started moving. It was hard to envisage a life staying in one place after that. She tried to rationalise it by stating that her and Ruby’s circumstances were very different. Ruby wasn’t on the run from the law and she could return home at any time. She didn’t have to keep moving in order to survive.

_“No, you’re right.”_

The conversation moved on to other things, and soon they were joking and laughing again, all thoughts of travel far away from their minds, until Kate had to hang up in order to put Aaron to bed. Once he was tucked in and sleeping soundly, she went into her own room, lying back on the bed and staring up at the ceiling in the dark. It was only now that she really felt the weight of her position. She had always been strong. She had always been the one who held everyone else together, the one whom everyone else leaned on.

With any luck, she’d got Claire sorted out and she wouldn’t need to worry about her for a while, and she could focus on Ruby, but right now, she needed someone to lean on herself and share the load. Reaching for her phone again, she texted James.

He’d tell her the same thing he’d always told her. _You can’t fix everyone, and you can’t fix everyone by yourself._ Perhaps she’d spent so long feeling broken and unloved that it was compulsion in her now to prevent everyone else feeling the same way, but it could be exhausting.

_Hey there. How’s it going?_

_Same old, same old. How’s things with your little lady in red?_

_Good, I think. I think…_

_What do you think?_

Kate didn’t reply. _I think I’m in love_. It was too soon to admit it, even to herself. She had been in love before, and it had always ended in tears. The tears might not have been her own fault, they might have been completely external factors, but right now she had to admit that the idea of being in love again given her past track record was scary. Now that she was just coming to terms with these feelings, and Ruby was considering going exploring...

_Kate? Everything ok?_

She sighed.

_Yeah, just a bit drained. I’ve been thinking, now that Claire and I are established here and everything’s going well, do you want to come and visit? The place looks way tidier than when you were last here._

_I don’t know, let me check my packed schedule. Yep, I got nothing. When do you want me?_

_Next weekend?_

_See you then._

James would be able to help. He’d understand. He’d been there himself. And he’d been needling her about meeting Ruby for a while now. This could be the perfect opportunity to introduce them, and to get her confused feelings sorted out. Perhaps love didn’t have to be such a terrifying concept after all.

X

Despite the earlier misgivings that had almost prevented her walking out of the door and coming on this date in the first place, Claire was enjoying herself immensely. It was like she had found another part of her personality that had been tamped down hard for a long time. Whilst she had been on the island, she had become ‘the mother’, and so many of her interactions had revolved around Aaron, rather than herself. After leaving the island, Aaron was the only thing that she could focus on, and she had bound so much of her identity to him in an attempt to ground her in reality and the present time.

With Aiden, she finally felt like her own person again. Sure, they talked about Aaron a lot. They talked about Aiden’s son Neal - second year at college and living with a girlfriend - a lot. They were both parents and they were proud of their kids; it was natural that they would crop up in conversation, especially since it was Aaron who had really brought them together in the first place with the broken clock.

Most of their conversation tonight, however, had been about each other. Favourite books, favourite movies - Claire had enjoyed catching up on all the things she’d missed during the three years on the island and had a lot of opinions on the latest releases - various other normal date topics. She’d managed to steer them away from the subject of travel - far too many potential pitfalls there. All in all, it was going very well. She was a normal woman on a normal date with a normal guy. They’d had great food in Marco’s Italian restaurant, and the man himself had given them a table near the back where they couldn’t be gawped at by the other townsfolk who still thought that seeing the so-called fearsome Mr Gold out on a date with the pretty young artist newcomer was a sign of the impending apocalypse.

Now the evening was coming to a close, and Aiden had picked up the tab, and Claire was racking her brains trying to think of when the last time she’d been on a date like this was. Had she ever been? It made her feel grown up, in a way. Like an adult. She hadn’t really had all that much chance to be a normal adult. She’d been barely out of her teens when she’d landed on the island, and the intervening six years hadn’t left a lot of room for the usual mid-twenties experiences.

They were walking the short distance from the restaurant back to her house, and Claire had her arm curled through Aiden’s. It was not yet the season for snow, but she could already picture herself in this position walking along the waterfront when the white flakes started appearing.

The house was dark when they approached it, just the porch light on to guide her home and the light in Kate’s room above the front door. Claire stopped on the path, looking up towards Aaron’s dark room, her hand slipping out of the crook of Aiden’s arm.

“It feels strange,” she said. “It’s the first time I’ve not been there for bedtime since…”

She tailed off. _Since I finally thought I was better enough to be around him having gone crazy on an island._

Glancing over at Aiden, she saw that he was politely waiting for her to continue, not pushing, but not attempting to change the subject. He took her hand, giving a gentle squeeze. It wasn’t the fact that she had nearly spilled her darkest secret that scared her, it was more the fact that she had felt so comfortable around him that she had only thought about it once the words were almost out of her mouth. She trusted Aiden, and whatever he had done to earn the trust that she did not give out so easily now, he deserved the truth.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,” he said. “We can leave it there.”

She shook her head.

“No. I want to tell you. I just…” She couldn’t tell him the whole truth, not now, perhaps not ever. But she could tell him the gist. “I had a lot of mental health problems just after I had Aaron, so Kate looked after him for the first few years whilst I wasn’t, you know, there. I’m better now, well, I’m a lot better than I was, and that’s the story and that’s why Kate and I are raising Aaron together, and…”

“Claire.” Aiden’s soft voice cut her off in the middle of her spiralling garble, and he squeezed her hand again. “It’s ok. I’m just glad that you’re feeling better now and you’re able to be with your son.”

Claire nodded, swallowing painfully. It was all out there now, and she felt better for it.

“I guess learning your girlfriend’s crazy wasn’t what you were expecting from this evening, huh?”

“You’re not crazy, Claire, and I’d really like to kiss you.”

Claire blinked. “Pardon?”

“I’d really like to kiss you, please.”

That had certainly not been the reaction she’d anticipated. She’d been prepared for him to walk away and rethink whether getting involved with her was a good idea.

She nodded. “I’d like to kiss you too.”

His hand was warm against her cool cheek, and his lips were warm against hers too. Claire closed her eyes, bringing her hands up to his shoulders and not wanting to let go. If this was a little piece of perfection before everything went to hell, then she wanted it to last for as long as possible.

Eventually though, the moment had to end, and she had to break away. Aiden was smiling, and Claire smiled back, although she felt like she was about to burst into tears at any moment.

“I’ll see you soon?” he hedged.

She nodded, although there was no certainty behind the action.

“Thank you for tonight, Aiden,” she whispered. “It’s been wonderful.” _And if this is where we end, then I can think of no better way._

She unlocked the front door, and Aiden turned to go back down the path, looking at her over his shoulder as she slipped inside the dark house.

Once the door was closed, she rested her forehead against it with a sigh. Now what? Now he knew. The fact that he had been so good about it should have been encouraging, but at the same time, this was only the very beginning. He hadn’t had time to get used to the revelation yet.

“How was it?”

Claire looked over her shoulder to see Kate peering around the top of the stairs, and she smiled brightly, not wanting to betray her tumultuous thoughts.

“It was perfect,” she said, and she was not lying. It had been perfect. She’d really enjoyed herself up until the moment she’d managed to ruin it all, reminding herself why she was not cut out for romantic interludes, and probably never would be again.

Kate sat down on the top step.

“Are you sure?”

Claire nodded. “Yes. That I’m very sure of. He’s so lovely. I feel like I get to see a side to him that no-one else does. He’s so guarded most of the time, but when we’re together, I can see inside a little bit more. And vice versa.”

If she was being honest, that was what was scaring her. If Aiden got a glimpse of the real her, the Claire who wasn’t Normal, then there was no guarantee that he would like what he saw.

She started up the stairs, and Kate shuffled to one side to let her past.

“So, did you kiss him?”

“Kate!”

“Come on, we’re not teenagers anymore, we can talk about this stuff. I tell you about me and Ruby all the time, the least you can do is give me some gossip about you and Mr Gold.”

“Yes, we kissed. It was wonderful.”

Kate grinned. “I knew it.”

“Good night, Kate.”

Claire went into her room, not bothering to switch the light on, and dumped her purse in the corner before flopping onto her bed and burying her face in the pillow as she began to cry, no longer having to keep a brave face on it for Kate.

Just when she thought things were finally looking up, she’d had to remember that love wasn’t something she could ever have.


	6. Chapter 6

 

Kate could tell that something was wrong when Claire didn’t come down for breakfast. Routine was important to her to keep her grounded, and no matter what might be praying on her mind, she generally always came down to have breakfast with Kate and Aaron. She wasn’t too surprised to find that Claire wasn’t awake first like she usually was; she’d had a big night after all, but she began to worry when she didn’t respond to the sounds of the house waking up.

Once Aaron was tucking into his cereal, Kate crept up the stairs and knocked softly on Claire’s door.

“Claire? It’s breakfast time. Are you ok?”

There was no response, and Kate slowly opened the door, biting her lip and swallowing painfully at the sight that met her. Claire was curled up on her bed, hugging her knees in the foetal position, staring into space. She was still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

Claire levered herself up to sitting and ran a hand through her tangled hair.

“I wanted it too much,” she muttered. “I wanted it too much, and then I went and sabotaged the whole thing.”

Kate came across the room and perched on the bed. Claire was tactile and always had been, especially when she was upset, but now she didn’t lean into Kate like she usually did, just staring into space, still hugging her knees.

“I don’t understand. You were really happy last night. You’d kissed him and everything.”

Claire sighed. “He knows. Aiden knows. Not about the island and all that crap, that’s not something we can ever tell anyone. But he knows about me leaving Aaron, and that I wasn’t right in the head. I’m still not right in the head. I’ve ruined everything.”

Kate didn’t know what to say. Would it be best to try and lift Claire’s spirits and talk her down, or would it be best just to let this blow over by itself? Once Claire realised that it wasn’t the be all and end all, hopefully she’d just come back to herself naturally. The trouble was, Kate didn’t feel comfortable telling her that it was all going to be all right, because she didn’t know herself.

“I’m sure it’s not as bleak as all that,” she said eventually. “Why don’t you go and take a shower and come down for breakfast? We’ll talk more about it later before Aaron comes back from school.”

Claire nodded and left the room, and Kate stayed sitting on the bed for a few minutes more.

She shook herself and went back downstairs. In a way, she really couldn’t wait for James to come at the weekend. It wasn’t that she couldn’t handle Claire’s bad episodes. She’d seen her through far worse states than this, back when Aaron had been a lot younger and needed a lot more attention, and he hadn’t realised that Mommy Claire wasn’t very well.

It was different now, though. Perhaps coming to Storybrooke had lulled them into a false sense of security and made her believe that absolutely nothing was going to go wrong, ever. They’d both been moving on with their lives and making new positive connections. She knew that it was foolish to assume that there would never be any bad moments, but there hadn’t been any bad moments for such a long time that this one had taken her by surprise.

Now that she had a support network in place whom she could rely on if she needed to - James and Miles and Richard and Desmond, wherever he might be in the world - she had lost some of her confidence in dealing with these crises herself. Just after the island, it had only been her and Claire and Carole, and whilst it had been hard, they’d got through it because they had to. There was no-one else. Now, the gang was all back together and in a good place, and it was nice to know that someone had their backs.

She went back downstairs to her now-cold toast. Aaron had finished his breakfast and was colouring at the kitchen table.

“How’s Mommy Claire?” he asked.

“She’s ok. She had a big night out last night, remember. She’ll be down in a minute.”

Aaron accepted this with his usual good nature, and sure enough, Claire came down to breakfast within a few minutes, her face clean of make-up and her wet hair tidy and brushed. That was a good sign. There had been a time just after the island when she wouldn’t even get out of bed, and it had taken all of Kate and Carole’s combined efforts to get her on her feet again. That had been the worst period of her recovery, and Kate knew that as long as she never got back to that stage again, then everything was salvageable.

Aaron was bright and chatty, asking all kinds of questions about Mr Gold that Claire answered patiently, but she hung back when it was time for him to leave for school, giving him a hug and then sending him on his way.

“Are you going to call him?” Kate asked on her way out of the door.

Claire shook her head.

“Are you going to paint today?”

Another shake. Kate didn’t say anything. Claire was withdrawing into herself again, and she wished that she knew what to do to help.

X

This pattern continued for the next couple of days. Claire would get up and be about, and she would take care of housework and making dinner and taking care of Aaron as if there was nothing wrong with the world. She was bright and bouncy around her son, and if he noticed any difference in her bearing, then he didn’t question it.

Something was still wrong, though, because she wasn’t going out. She had forced herself to go to the store for some supplies whilst Kate had been out at work, but she hadn’t gone out to her studio. She hadn’t picked up any of her art materials. For all Kate knew, she spent her days just sitting on the sofa staring into space whilst Aaron was at school and Kate was out running errands.

Kate wondered if Gold had been in touch since the date night; he would have no idea that anything was wrong. She didn’t like to pry, but she could feel the worry creeping up on her. If Claire was cutting people off and pulling back her trust, then it could be a long time before she was ready to give it again.

“Kate?”

She looked up to find Ruby waving a hand in front of her face. She’d only come into the diner to pick up coffee on her way home from the stables, but she didn’t know how long she’d been sitting at the counter, lost in her own spiralling thoughts.

“Hey, Ruby.”

“What’s up? You’re miles away and you’ve been looking worried for the past two days. And I didn’t question it when you cancelled date night last night, but now you’re here and I can tell something’s not right, so do you maybe want to talk about it?”

Kate sighed. As much as she really didn’t want to make Claire’s problems common knowledge around the town, Ruby did deserve the truth as to why she was suddenly unavailable for everything and looking like a wet weekend.

“It’s Claire,” she said eventually. “She’s going through a bad patch, and it’s all I can think about right now.”

“Well, Claire’s a big girl, I’m sure she can work it out by herself. There’s no need to run yourself into the ground worrying about her. You’ve got your own life too.”

To anyone else in any other circumstances, it would have been good advice, but Kate just shook her head. How could she tell everything to Ruby?

“It’s more complicated than that. I don’t know how to explain it. I need to make sure she’s all right.”

There must have been more desperation in her words than she’d thought, because Ruby reacted immediately.

“Ok, you need to talk.” She was already unfastening her apron and tossing it over the till. “I don’t know what’s happening in your life at the moment, but I know that you can’t go through it alone. Come with me. Granny! I’m taking a break now!”

Granny came round into the front of the diner and opened her mouth to admonish Ruby, but on seeing Kate sitting forlornly at the counter, she closed it again and gave an understanding nod.

Ruby took her hand, leading her round the back of the diner into the inn’s lounge, which was rarely used. The sofas were old and chintzy and smelled a bit damp, but they were better than nothing, and Kate sank down heavily onto one of them.

“The thing with me and Claire… It’s hard to explain. The things we’ve been through together would boggle your mind.”

Ruby shrugged. “I can deal with mind-boggling. You see all sorts here in the diner.”

“No, it’s more mind-boggling than local interest. It’s something so big, I don’t think we’ll ever be able to tell anyone everything about it. But we’re so close - it’s like a friendship forged in fire, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. I guess it’s a little like me and Granny, after my parents died.”

Kate nodded. “I delivered Aaron. I know that sounds unrelated to anything but it’s the beginning of the story. We were in the middle of nowhere, and Claire was in labour, and I had to deliver Aaron. And we were both so scared, but we got through it, and he was fine. We were all fine. Claire and I knew each other before then, but we weren’t firm friends. Not until that moment.”

“Well, if you’ve got your hands up another woman’s hoo-hah trying to catch her baby, then I imagine that brings you closer together.” Ruby’s voice was so matter of fact that Kate had to give a snort of laughter. “I’m sorry, I’ll be serious now.”

“No, it’s ok. A bit of levity’s probably needed. Anyway, a couple of months after Aaron was born, stuff happened and Claire… I don’t know what happened. I don’t want to say she was brainwashed because that sounds ridiculous but it’s the easiest way to explain it. There was a guy, a really toxic guy, and he took her away from everyone. He made her leave Aaron behind. I don’t know what happened, but he screwed her up pretty badly.”

Ruby nodded. “Ok. So, something bad happened to Claire and you became Aaron’s mom, right?”

“Yeah. And I was his mom for three years, until I realised that I had to go and help Claire and get her back. It would have been so easy to keep being Aaron’s mom, to pretend that he was mine and pretend that Claire had never existed. So many other people were pretending that she had never existed and that she didn’t matter; it felt like I was the only one who cared about her. So, I went, and I found her, and I got her out of the hellhole she was living in, even though everyone else had given up on her. She’d given up on herself; she’d accepted that she was never going to see Aaron again and she’d never be a mom again. And it took a long time to set her right again, but we did it. And now we’re here, and now everything’s finally looking up, but when there are setbacks, I feel like I can’t let her work these things out by herself, because it feels like I’m giving up on her. I can’t give up on her now. Not when I was the only person who didn’t give up on her before.”

Ruby didn’t reply. She just put her arms around Kate, pulling her in close and stroking her hair.

“It’s all right,” she said. “I understand. But it’s not just you anymore. You’ve got other people to help you. You’ve got me. You don’t need to try and shoulder all this on your own.”

Kate nodded against Ruby’s chest. “I know, and I’m so grateful for that.”

“I think you do need to let Claire get through this on her own. Not like, abandoning her. Still being there and supporting her. But you know, she needs to grow by herself. She might not thank you for being a knight in shining armour all the time. If she wants to get better, which I think she does, then she’ll want to be able to take some time and think things out by herself.”

“Yeah, James says the same thing. He thinks I hover too much and Claire’s too nice to tell me to shove off and let her figure it out by herself. I’m used to making all the decisions to keep both of us safe, and I guess I forget that she can make those decisions herself now.”

“Maybe there’s something in that. Maybe you should just talk to her and ask her what she needs. If she needs your help, then she needs your help.”

Kate sighed. “I’m sorry. I guess you weren’t really expecting a package deal when you got me. It’s not just me, it’s me and my son and my friend as well.”

“Life’s not always plain sailing,” Ruby said. “Besides, complications make things interesting.” She kissed the top of Kate’s head, hugging her closer. “Being conventional is boring.”

“Are you sure you’re ok with this?”

“Yes. Being with you might be different to being with all my other previous boyfriends and girlfriends, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it. We just have to adapt. Everyone does.”

“How can you be so wise?”

“I grew up with Granny. Sometimes these things rub off on you without you realising. Believe me, no-one else in town would think I was wise.”

They stayed in their embrace for a long while. It was a long time since Kate had had the luxury of allowing herself to be vulnerable with another person, and perhaps longer since she’d had someone she felt safe being vulnerable with.

She hoped that there was still the chance that Claire could find the same thing with Gold.

X

Kate had not been expecting anyone to call, so the knock on the door came somewhat out of the blue, but it wasn’t unheard of for Ruby to drop in and say hello. There was usually warning of such an occurrence, even if only by a few minutes, but given everything that was going on and their heart to heart the previous day, Kate wouldn’t have been surprised to see her girlfriend on the doorstep.

It wasn’t Ruby. It was Gold, and Kate took a step back in surprise.

“Kate.” He nodded respectfully. “I was wondering if Claire was there.”

Kate looked over her shoulder. Claire was standing frozen in the kitchen doorway, out of Gold’s sight, but she had no doubt recognised his voice. She shook her head imperceptibly, and Kate looked back to Gold.

“She can’t come to the door right now.”

“Ok. I see.” He looked flat and forlorn, and Kate’s heart had to go out to him. Although outwardly he seemed to be his usual immaculately put together self, she could see the signs of worry on him, the mussed hair where he’d been running his fingers through it, and the slightly crooked tie.

“I just wanted to make sure that she was all right,” he continued. “Ever since our date, she hasn’t been returning any of my messages or calls, and I haven’t seen her out at the studio. I didn’t want something to have happened to her.”

Kate bit her lip. “She’s all right. She’s just…” She tailed off; she had no idea how to explain what was going on. It wasn’t Gold’s fault that Claire had retreated back into herself, but at the same time, it wasn’t entirely Claire’s fault either. It was her brain playing tricks on her. Gold knew she had mental health issues, so he would hopefully understand, but she didn’t even know where to start.

“If she doesn’t want to see me again, then I will obviously respect that. I just wanted to make sure that she was ok.” There was a long and screamingly awkward pause. “If it was something I did, then I’m really very sorry.”

“No, it’s not your fault.” The words came out more vehemently than Kate intended, and Gold looked somewhat taken aback. “Sorry, that didn’t come out right. What I mean is… Things with Claire are complicated right now. She just needs a bit of time. Don’t give up on her.” She thought back to her conversation with Ruby in the diner, about how she had been the only one who had not given up on Claire. “Please, please don’t give up on her. She just needs to sort her head out a bit.”

Gold smiled, and there was relief in the expression.

“Well, could you please tell her that whenever she’s ready, I’d love to take her out again.”

“I’ll be sure to do that.”

He walked away down the path, and Kate watched him go before closing the door and turning back towards Claire in the kitchen doorway. She had both arms wrapped around her chest, hugging herself tightly as if she needed to physically keep herself together. She disappeared back into the kitchen without saying a word, and Kate followed her in, leaning against the counter as Claire sat down at the table, staring hard at the fruit bowl. She looked like she was doing her utmost not to cry.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said eventually. “I want this so badly. I really like him, and he really likes me, and these past few days have just been utterly miserable for the both of us. He wants to make a go of it and so do I.”

Kate didn’t ask the obvious question of ‘why don’t you?’ It was time to let Claire think it through herself.

“I just don’t want anyone to get hurt further down the line,” she said, wiping her eyes. “If we start this again now, how long will it be before something happens?”

“Maybe nothing will happen,” Kate suggested. “What kind of something do you think is going to happen?”

“I don’t know. That’s part of the problem. What if we make a go of it and he decides that I’m not worth the hassle after all?”

She had a point. This was only the very beginning of her and Gold’s relationship and the first time that he was dealing with her problems.

“There’s always the chance that he won’t decide that, though. Maybe you need to look on the positive side. Maybe, taking risks on new things like this is all part of living life.”

Claire nodded. “Yes, I know what you mean. And I do want to really live again. These past few days, I’ve just been existing.” She fell silent again, tracing the shapes of the apples in the fruit bowl with her fingertips. “I need to think.”

Kate left her to it, but in the wake of Gold’s visit and his evident concern, she had far more hope for a happier outcome than she’d had before.

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

 

Storybrooke didn’t look any different to the last time that he had been here, apart from the weather, which was colder and greyer. James was of the mindset that nothing in Storybrooke ever changed, indeed, some of the shops on the main street looked quaintly like they were still desperately trying to get out of the eighties.

The house on Shell Drive was looking much friendlier and more inviting than it had done when he had first seen it, helping Claire and Kate to move in. There were flowers and shrubs in the garden, and he was half-expecting to see roses climbing around the door as he parked up outside and came up the path. Claire’s touch was clear to see in the planting. On the island, Sun had always been the master botanist, but Kate had a black thumb. There was no rhyme or reason to the flowers, just whatever Claire had decided was pretty and would fit in the space. It was chaotic, but it was the glorious kind of chaos.

He wondered how Claire was doing in this new place. Kate’s messages had been mixed; first she’d said that everything was great, and that Claire was in her element, but more recently she’d reported a downward turn. James hoped it was only temporary. Now that they’d found somewhere conducive to as complete a recovery as possible, he wanted them to be able to stay and put some roots down.

The door opened as he came towards it, and Aaron’s grinning face appeared.

“Hey, little man!” James high-fived him as he came in. “How are your moms doing?”

“They’re fine, they’re in the kitchen.” Aaron bounded along down the corridor and slid into the kitchen on socked feet, sliding to a stop by the kitchen table. “Mommy Kate, Mommy Claire, Uncle James is here!”

Kate came over and hugged him.

“Aaron’s been watching out for you ever since I told him you were arriving today. Thanks so much for coming.”

Claire had been doing dishes and she came over, wiping her hands on a towel before holding her arms out for a hug as well. She seemed all right in herself, and James was relieved. Kate had a habit of not telling the full truth when it came to the severity of their circumstances, determined that she could cope by herself. The very fact she’d invited him to come up and help her take a load off her mind was almost miraculous in itself. He’d been expecting to find Claire much worse than she was.

He could tell that something was wrong; he could see it in her eyes, big and haunted, as if she was looking straight through him and seeing something that wasn’t there. The spectre of her time on the island still loomed large even after all these years away from it.

Dinner was a happy affair, with Aaron doing most of the talking as he caught James up to speed on everything that had happened with him starting school and making new friends, and it was only once Claire was taking care of bath and bedtime that James and Kate finally had a chance to sit down and talk about the real reason for his visit.

Something was bothering Kate; he could tell. It wasn’t just Claire’s wobble that had put her on edge. There was something else at work, something much more personal.

“So, Freckles. Out with it. What’s eating you? And don’t say Claire. We can sort her out tomorrow.”

Kate shook her head. “It’s not Claire. I mean, I’m worried about her, don’t get me wrong, but I’m coming to terms with the fact that this is something she’s got to work through herself. But, ironically, I think we both have the same problem.”

James raised an eyebrow. “Care to enlighten me?”

“I think we’re both slightly scared of the new relationships we’re embarking on.” Kate sighed, picking at her fingers, not looking at him. “I think I’m in love.”

“Your little lady in red?”

“Yep.”

“Well, that’s a good thing, surely?” James had not really given all that much thought to finding love again. Juliet had been a done deal for him, and he couldn’t imagine wanting anyone else just yet, but he didn’t begrudge Kate moving on and finding happiness with someone new. She certainly deserved to be happy and loved after everything that she’d been through.

“Objectively, yes. But given my track record, I’m scared. Every time I fall in love, James, someone gets hurt. Either me or the other person. Hell, half the time they end up dead. And now there’s Ruby, and she’s so… She’s so good for me. She gives me the strength that I never really knew I even needed until I met her. And she reminds me so much of me, and I don’t want either of us to get hurt but at the same time, being with her just makes me so, so happy.”

There was silence for a long time.

“Yep, you’re in love all right, Freckles. You’ve got it bad.”

“Yeah.” Kate sighed, and then shook her head with a snort of laughter. “It’s so hypocritical really. I keep telling Claire to go for it with Gold, that maybe she has to take some chances in order to move on, and here I am, scared of doing the exact same thing.”

“That’s the thing about advice. Easy to give. Not so easy to follow your own.”

They fell into silence for a while.

“So, do I get to meet Ruby?” James asked.

“Is this where you do the whole overprotective big brother thing and tell her something along the lines of ‘if you hurt her I will end you’? Because no, you’re not doing that. But you can meet her. I told her that you were coming, and she wants to say hi. I said we could meet her at the diner tomorrow.”

It would be interesting to meet the woman that Kate had fallen for. It was good to see her getting back on her feet even if she was somewhat scared of moving on. Whilst their own brief relationship would never have worked out if it had gone on any longer, that didn’t mean that he couldn’t be invested in her finding the one now.

X

Ruby was everything that Kate had described and more, and James could see why the two of them got along so well. They were so alike in so many ways, and James thought that perhaps Ruby was the person whom Kate could have been if life hadn’t got in the way for her.

“So, you must be the famous James! Kate’s told me all about you.” It would have been flattering if there wasn’t so much unflattering information about himself that Kate knew.

She seemed bright and bouncy, and not at all insecure at having the ex-boyfriend suddenly back in town when her relationship was still so new. That was a good sign. She alternated between chatting to Kate, and chatting to James, and serving the other customers when Granny snapped at her to stop gabbing and start working.

It seemed that Kate was obviously conspiring to leave the two of them alone together, and she wasn’t at all subtle about going over to talk to someone whom she knew as a mom of one of Aaron’s classmates just as Ruby was coming off shift for her break.

Ruby rolled her eyes as she pulled off her apron and slid onto Kate’s vacated seat beside James.

“She’s totally done that on purpose, and she knows that we know.” She held out a hand. “Since we can be formally introduced now, it’s good to meet you properly.”

James shook her hand. “Likewise.”

“Honestly, I’m glad you’re here. Kate’s going through a rough patch I think, because Claire’s going through a rough patch too, and hopefully if there’s more than one of us telling Kate that she needs to take care of herself as well as everyone else around her, she’ll take the advice to heart.” Ruby poured out some sugar from one of the dispensers onto the counter and started doodling patterns in it. “I can’t really talk though; I dump my worries onto her just as much sometimes. It’s just… This thing that I have with Kate is really good, and I really want it to work, but at the same time, there’s all the plans that I made before I met her.”

She laughed. “You don’t want to be hearing all this, we’ve only just met.”

James shrugged. “Hey, I’m here as Kate’s agony aunt. Might as well extend you the same courtesy. I’m just happy that she’s found someone, so if I can help her to be happy by helping you to be happy, then that works. I think. Might have confused myself there.”

“You’re sweet. You might have the macho vibe going on, but you’re sweet underneath. Are you single? Not that I’m interested myself,” she added hastily. “I mean, you’re an attractive guy, don’t get me wrong, but I’m with Kate now and I’m very happy with her. I was just thinking that you seem to give good relationship advice. You know what, I’m just going to stop talking right now before I dig this whole any deeper.”

James did try not to laugh, but it was a losing battle. “Don’t worry, I know your intentions are honourable. Kate’s told me enough about you. And yes, I am single by choice.”

“Fair enough.” Ruby didn’t push the subject and returned to the sugar doodles. James wondered if he ought to dig into her worries any further. As she had said herself, they’d only just met in person, but since the entire reason he’d come was to try and ease some of Kate’s worries and put her back on track, and most of Kate’s worries that weren’t about Claire seemed to come from her relationship with Ruby, it seemed like as good a place to start as any.

“So, do you want to talk about it? Take a load off your mind without worrying Kate?”

“I want to travel.” Ruby sighed. “I’d been saving up for ages and I was going to take off next spring, backpacking around somewhere, spreading my wings a bit. But now there’s Kate, and I love her so much, I really do. I don’t want to be apart from her, but at the same time, I still want to go and travel like I planned, and I know that she can’t come with me because of the life and commitments she’s got here, with Aaron. I mean, I want to go, and I know I’ll come back to her, but I don’t want her to feel like I’m leaving her or putting my dreams above our relationship.”

Just as he’d said Kate had it bad for Ruby, it seemed that Ruby had it equally bad for Kate.

“Well, I don’t claim to know all that much about you, and I don’t claim to know all that much about healthy relationships, God knows I haven’t had very many myself. But I do know that you shouldn’t compromise yourself to be part of a pair rather than a whole. Sure, you can change, and you can grow, and you can become a better person as a result of being with someone.” He thought of Juliet and the Dharma years, of how much he had grown up and how much he had grown into a calm, responsible, loving person as a result of being with her. “But you shouldn’t give up your dreams entirely. Kate’s an adult. She’ll understand how important this is to you. Ultimately, all she wants is for everyone to be happy. That’s why she got herself into the fix she’s in now.”

“Yeah, but will she be happy if I leave? I don’t want to gain my happiness at the expense of hers.”

There were all kinds of clichés that he could spit out about absence making the heart grow fonder, but James stayed silent. This was something that Kate and Ruby were going to have to talk about together and be completely honest with each other about. The fact that Ruby seemed committed to the relationship and did not plan for her travels to be indefinite was a good sign, and he knew that Kate would not be unreasonable about it. He wouldn’t betray his confidence, but he could at least tell Kate what he had observed - mainly, that her feelings were unequivocally returned.

They were safely back at the house before he voiced his thoughts, and Kate just looked at him.

“Really?” There was such hope in her eyes, and James was glad that he was certain of his hunch as he really didn’t want to see that hope crushed.

“Really.”

Kate’s grin could have powered the sun, and James was glad to see it.

“Well, I’ve met Ruby. Do I get to meet Claire’s beau now?”

“Don’t you dare give Gold the shovel talk.” Kate’s voice brokered no arguments, and although James was a little disappointed and a little amused by her vehemence in equal measure, he knew that she was serious. “He’s been so good for Claire, and he’s being so understanding now whilst she needs some time. Also, he’s our landlord so it really wouldn’t do to piss him off too much, you know.”

“Ah, come on, Kate, you can handle an irate landlord. I mean, the guy can’t exactly run fast.”

“I mean it, James. You’ve helped me along with my chance for happiness, so don’t go sabotaging Claire’s.”

“I’ll keep my nose out of it, I promise. And if you two want to go out on a double date whilst I’m here, I’m happy to babysit for the evening. It’s about time Aaron learned the art of the long-con.”

Kate raised an eyebrow, trusting him to stay out of Claire’s love life but not believing him for a second about teaching Aaron criminal activities. James just laughed. It was strange to be able to laugh and joke about what had been such a fundamental and sordid part of his life for so long. He’d tried to push it all down and forget about it, and whilst he’d had Juliet it had been easy to do. Now though, it was all in the past where it belonged, and whilst it wasn’t his proudest moment, it was something that he could still accept as an important piece of him.

“Thank you, though,” Kate said presently. “Thanks for all your support. You know, if you ever need anything from me and Claire like this, we’re here for you.”

“No, you two have got your own problems.”

“Well, there’s three of us, so naturally we’ve got more problems than you, but friendship’s a two-way street. There’s no sense in you doing all the legwork.”

James smiled. Romantic entanglements weren’t on the horizon for him just yet, but it was good to know that their little island family still had each other’s backs.

“Thanks, Kate. That does mean a lot.”

They stayed on the sofa in companionable silence for a while until the soft patter of Claire’s footsteps came down the hall. She was dressed to go out, and James saw Kate cross her fingers behind her back.

“I’ve thought it over,” she announced. “I’ve decided that I want to be happy.”

Kate waited until the front door had closed and Claire’s footsteps had vanished down the path before giving a little exclamation of triumph. Although he still didn’t know exactly what was going on with Claire and Gold, James allowed himself one as well. Kate and Ruby were going to be happy, and it looked like Claire had sorted herself out just as Ruby had said she could.

X

When the bell above the shop door chimed out clearly to signal the arrival of a new customer, Gold looked up as was his habit, but it took a couple of seconds before the identity of the person who had stepped inside finally imprinted itself on his brain.

Claire was standing there in the doorway. She was looking around the place with the same wonder that she had shown the first couple of times that she had been in, and then her eyes finally alighted on him and she smiled.

“Hello Aiden.”

He hastily swallowed down the lump of choked surprise in his throat and nodded.

“Hello Claire.”

There was something different about her, and he only realised what it was from its absence. All the time he had known Claire, throughout all their interactions and all their little coffee dates, and throughout their actual date, the last time that he had seen her, she had been carrying a barely perceptible tension within her. Now, she appeared to be free of it, or at least it had lessened considerably. Now that he thought about it, it was probably the strain of keeping her mental health problems to herself. They were out in the open now, and there was no longer a barrier between them that she was trying to maintain out of a desire to protect either herself or him.

“I’m sorry that I worried you so much by going incommunicado,” she began, crossing the room towards him. Gold could only stay frozen behind the counter. There was nothing that he wanted to do more than to race across to her, sweep her up in his arms and tell her that everything was all right and nothing was different between them for their temporary separation. But she had already been spooked once, and considering everything that she had been through, it was best to let things move at whatever pace she was comfortable with.

“It’s ok. I’m just happy to know that you’re all right.”

“Yes. I’m all right now. I was just going through some things, you know. Feeling some feelings and needing to get them out there.” She paused, and she reached across the counter to place her hand on top of both of his where they were clasped around the top of his cane in an embarrassingly white-knuckled grip.

Her eyes were so blue as she looked at him.

“This is all new for me,” she said. “This is the first relationship I’ve had since my recovery, and I really want to make it work, I honestly do. It’s just that it’s overwhelming, sometimes. The feeling that I can actually be happy. The feeling that I actually deserve happiness after everything that’s happened.”

Although their circumstances were vastly different, Gold could understand her sentiments.

“This is the first relationship I’ve had since my divorce,” he admitted. “So, fifteen years ago. I really want to make it work too.”

Claire smiled, a slightly sad smile that spoke volumes to just how lonely and scared their two souls were. Maybe they could be braver if they stuck together and helped each other.

“I suppose I’m not the only one who’s panicking about what happens when it all falls to pieces, then.”

“You’re definitely not. But maybe it won’t all fall to pieces. And I think that, no matter what might have happened in our pasts and no matter how long ago it might have been… We deserve to be happy. Everyone deserves a second chance at a happy ending, I think. Or a happy beginning, for us.”

Claire nodded. “I like that idea.”

Gold decided to make his move, coming around so that there was no longer a counter between them.

“So, would you prefer to start from scratch, or carry on where we left off?” he asked.

Claire bit her bottom lip. “As I recall, the last time we saw each other, we kissed good night.”

“We did. Although it’s not night time and we haven’t been on a date.”

“We can kiss good afternoon instead, and then go on a date?” Claire suggested nonchalantly. “There’s still plenty of time before I have to go and get Aaron from school. We can go and get coffee. Like our very first date.” Her hand found his again and squeezed. “We’d get the best of both worlds, then. Starting over and carrying on.”

“Yes, I’d like that.”

Claire’s hands came up to his shoulders, and she leaned in to press her lips against his. The kiss was dry and chaste, but when they broke away, there was a brightness in Claire’s eyes, one that he was certain was reflected in his own.

“Maybe we ought to do that again,” he said. “Just to make sure that we’re on the same page, you know.”

Claire giggled, but she accepted eagerly when he kissed her again, her lips parting readily for him as her fingers slipped up to card in his hair.

She was smiling when they finally pulled away again, and this time there was no trace of sadness in it.

“Thank you for understanding,” she said. “I can’t promise that this is going to be the last time I freak out. I can’t promise that this is the last time I’ll need some space to work through all these overwhelming feelings. But I can promise that I’ll tell you what’s happening next time.”

“That’s ok. I understand. You know that if there’s anything I can do to help, all you have to do is ask.”

She nodded. “I know. I think sometimes I just need to let my thoughts come to the end of themselves. But I’ve done that now, and I can start again. Speaking of starting again though… Coffee?”

Gold nodded. “Sounds great.”

They left the shop together and he locked up after them, and they made their way down towards the diner. Ruby was serving, and she broke out into a massive wolfish grin when she saw them come in together and take a booth. Idly, Gold wondered if she was messaging Kate under the counter to get her up to speed on the latest news. In a small town like Storybrooke, news travelled fast, and it was no secret that Kate and Ruby were now undeniably an item.

In the end, Gold decided that he really didn’t care what the rest of the town thought, or what Ruby was doing. He and Claire were content to drink their coffee and picked at their slices of pie, talking about the everyday things that had happened in their short time apart. It had only been a few days, but during that time it had been so uncertain as to whether they would ever communicate again that it felt more like a lifetime.

He had never been so grateful for a second chance.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you reading this without having watched Lost, Desmond and Penny’s son Charlie was named for Claire’s love interest Charlie, I have not gotten my names confused. ;-)

It was strange to be dating again after so long, but Claire could finally say without a shadow of a doubt that making the decision to go for it with Aiden was definitely a better choice than staying away from him had been. Their romance had been slow and tentative to start with, sticking with neutral ground, but things had changed this evening.

Leroy, the local handyman who’d fixed their leaking kitchen tap, had jerry-rigged his drive-in movie theatre for a double feature show. Apparently, this was a local tradition. Every so often, Leroy would rig up a projector to the roof of his truck and drape a huge white sheet over the side of one of the dock buildings, and word would get around that the drive-in would be open for business. The shows were free and open to all, always showing family friendly films, and Leroy collected donations for the hospital at half-time.

As December was finally upon them, it had been a Christmas special. They’d all gone along to watch the Muppets Christmas Carol, with Kate’s practical runaround parked up next to Gold’s sleek Cadillac. Ruby had joked about them being on a double date, but no-one had minded the implications. After the first film had finished, Ruby and Kate had taken Aaron home to bed, but Claire and Aiden had stayed for It’s a Wonderful Life. Now it had come to an end, and they were the only car left in the parking lot, but despite it being almost midnight, Claire felt no desire to go home just yet.

She cuddled in closer against Aiden’s side, resting her head against his shoulder. It was nice to let herself be tactile again. She’d always liked the comfort of human touch before, and now that she was recovering from everything that had happened, she enjoyed it again. Aiden’s arm was around her shoulders, his fingertips tracing little patterns on her arm, and for the first time in a very long time, Claire found her daydreams wandering in a rather less than innocent direction, wondering what those fingertips would feel like tracing patterns elsewhere on her body. She shivered with the anticipation of it, and Aiden’s hand stilled, his brow furrowing as he looked at her.

“Are you all right?” he asked. “We should probably get going, it is getting a bit chilly. December in Maine isn’t really the time or place to be sitting in a car in the middle of the night.”

Claire smiled. “I’m ok. A bit cold, but you’re nice and warm.”

Aiden leaned in and kissed the top of her head.

“I should get you home. Kate will be wondering where we’ve got to.”

“Let her wonder. A girl’s got to have some secrets, after all.” How long was it since she’d last flirted like this? A long time, if these efforts were anything to go by, but Claire was too thrilled by the idea of actually being able to flirt cheekily again that she didn’t care how cheesy she sounded. Here in this moment, she was truly happy, and she never wanted it to end. There was something in the way Aiden looked at her that made her feel young again. She wasn’t old by any means, she was only twenty-nine, but she knew that her experiences had aged her beyond her years. The three years alone on the island felt like a lifetime. No, Aiden took her back to a time before the island, to a time before Aaron, even. In the time between falling pregnant and falling victim to the Man in Black, Claire had felt at times that she had become a different person. She had become a Mother, and that was all people saw her as. She was an expecting mother, then she was Aaron’s mother. At no point had she been her own person.

Aiden looked at her like she was a person first, and a mother second. That wasn’t to say that he didn’t get on with Aaron; he loved spending time with her son and Aaron was always fascinated by the antiquities on display in the shop. When it came down to it, though, he treated her as a woman, not as a mother. During her brief time with Charlie, she had felt that there was something of a Madonna complex going on at times. With Charlie, motherhood had definitely been her defining trait in his eyes.

Emboldened by her thoughts, she slipped her arms around his neck, the angle a little awkward in the car, and she pressed her lips in against his. Aiden’s arms slid around her back and shifted her closer. They must have looked like a pair of desperate teenagers, necking in the car, but Claire really didn’t mind. It felt good to be wanted like this again, when at one point she’d held out no hope of ever feeling this way again.

When she finally broke away, Aiden looked a little stunned.

“Or, I don’t have to take you home,” he said softly. “We can go back to my place.”

There was hope in his voice, just a gentle hope, nothing coercive, and it did not make Claire feel bad when she shook her head.

“Not today,” she said. “Soon, but not today. I want to. I really do. But I want to be absolutely sure that I’m ready for that step when it happens, and I’m not sure yet.” There were other reasons as well, ones that she knew were more superficial but that she still fretted over. She was covered in scars from her time on the island, for a start, not to mention the pregnancy stretch marks on her breasts and stomach that had silvered but hadn’t faded. Objectively she knew that it was a stupid thing to worry about and that such things would hardly put it off, but when her confidence had taken such a knock as it had already done just by dint of surviving everything and coming out of the other side, it was still something that played on her mind.

“Also, I still get nightmares quite a lot,” she said quickly, the words falling over themselves in her haste to get them out of her mouth and into the open. When she had decided to make a go of it with Aiden, she had told herself that honesty was the best policy, and it was best to deal with any misgivings sooner rather than later. “I don’t want to freak you out with some of the stuff I yell in the middle of the night.”

“I’m sure I’ll be able to handle it should such a predicament occur in the future,” Aiden said.

Claire sighed, letting out a long breath and resting her forehead against his shoulder so that she didn’t have to look at his dark eyes and lose herself in them. He was being so good and such a perfect gentleman, and in some ways she was frustrated with herself for not just going for it, but she knew that she would regret it if she wasn’t completely ready. Jumping ahead of herself now would not be a good idea.

“You’re so accepting,” she said.

“Life’s not plain sailing, Claire.” He tilted her chin up towards him so that he could peck another kiss to her lips. “It never is. Anyone who tells you different is selling something. I want to be with you. All of you. All of the bits of you that you don’t like, and that you think will scare me, they’re all still a part of you. You’re a package deal, and I don’t want any of the bits missing, or you wouldn’t be you.”

It was something that Claire had badly needed to hear, and she hadn’t quite realised how badly. Although Aiden may not have seen her at her absolute worst, and she may not have had a complete breakdown since she had been in Storybrooke, his words gave her hope that he would stick around for her when things did get bad. He wasn’t going to put an end to everything when things got difficult. Her fears for this new relationship were still there, but considerably lessened now. They had not got very far in their dating life, but despite taking it slowly, they were both committed to trying to make it work.

“Come on. Let’s get you home. I’ll bring lunch to the studio tomorrow.”

“That sounds perfect.”

With a little reluctance, she pulled away from his side and his warm arms around her and fastened her seatbelt. They didn’t speak as the Cadillac crept out of the parking lot and along the waterfront towards the town and their homes, but the silence was a warm and companionable one. There was nothing to say, so there was no reason to try and fill the empty space between them with meaningless small talk. It was enough to enjoy each other’s presence.

Claire sat up suddenly as something caught the corner of her eye as they drove past.

“Claire?”

“I think that’s Desmond’s boat.”

There was no-one else around on the road, so Aiden simply put the Cadillac into reverse for a few yards.

Sure enough, Desmond and Penny’s boat was moored up in the harbour. There were no lights on inside, which was understandable considering the late hour.

“Were you expecting visitors?”

“No, not this weekend. It’s always nice to see them, of course.” She paused. “I hope I haven’t spoiled anything if they were trying to take us by surprise.”

“You’ll have to put your best poker face on when they turn up on your doorstep tomorrow morning.”

Claire burst into giggles at the thought, and the musings as to the reason for Penny and Desmond’s presence kept her occupied until they arrived at the house. Aiden walked her to the front door; the lights were off here too, and seeing the darkened house gave Claire a frisson of pride. Although she doubted that Kate was actually asleep, she was no longer obviously staying up to see her safely through the door. It was a sign that she trusted Claire with her own love life, and she trusted Aiden with Claire.

“Good night, Aiden.”

“Good night, Claire.”

He kissed her knuckles, something that had always made her feel like a princess, and she laughed as she went inside the house. She crept up the stairs quietly, first ducking into Aaron’s room to say good night to him, straightening out his covers where he’d got tangled up in his sleep, and then peeping around Kate’s door. As expected, she was still awake.

“I was beginning to think you’d stayed over after all,” she whispered.

“No, not yet. Maybe next time. Night, Kate.”

“Good night, Claire.”

She made it to her bedroom and flopped down onto her bed with a happy sigh, staring up at the ceiling and remembering the last time she’d flopped like this. The circumstances had been very different a month and a half ago, and she knew that she ought to put some effort into changing into her pyjamas, even if all she wanted to do was lie there and think about Aiden and about the things that she was hoping would happen in the future. Maybe it was time to take Kate and Ruby up on their teasing offer of taking her underwear-and-possibly-other-adult-things shopping.

X

Despite her late night, Claire woke feeling refreshed, with a smile on her face. Even though they had not gone any further in their relationship, she felt confident that it would happen eventually, and that Aiden would not begrudge her the extra time that it was taking her to get her head together. She was already feeling a lot more comfortable with the idea of taking that final step and becoming lovers after dating, although perhaps she was not quite ready to admit that to him yet. All the same, it was something to be looking forward to when the stars aligned. She came down the stairs to begin breakfast, and she wondered when they were going to hear from Desmond.

Almost as if her phone had been reading her mind, it began to ring.

“Good morning, Desmond!”

_“Good morning, Claire. You sound incredibly chipper. Has there been some good news I’ve yet to hear?”_

“No, no. I’m just enjoying life at the moment.”

It felt so strange to say it when there had been a time not so very long ago when she had thought that happiness and enjoyment were out of her reach. There were still days when she couldn’t quite believe that she had landed on her feet so well, and she still expected everything to be torn away from her, but with every day that the world stayed together, so Claire herself stayed together, and the glue that was holding all her broken shards in place set itself stronger and stronger against being shattered again. So many things in her life had a solid base now - her relationship was Aaron was closer than ever; her friendship with Kate was strong and healthy; she had a wonderful home in a place that didn’t stress her out; and of course, there was Aiden.

_“I’m incredibly glad to hear it.”_

“So…” Claire set her morning tea to steep and sat down at the table. “What brings you to Storybrooke in December?”

_“How did you know we were here?”_

“I saw your boat last night.”

_“What? We only docked at half-past ten, what were you doing out so late?”_

His tone was teasing, not reprimanding, but Claire still felt the blush rise in her cheeks at her late-night antics with Aiden.

“Nothing,” she said coyly. “I’d been to a movie with Aiden and he was taking me home. Everything was entirely above board.”

She could almost hear Desmond’s eyebrows raising.

_“Well then. It seems that a lot’s been happening since we were last in town. As to why we’re here, I ended up promising Granny Lucas that I’d come and see her before Christmas, and as we’re spending Christmas in Scotland this year, we thought we’d come now. And of course, we wanted to see how you and Kate were getting on.”_

“We’re doing well. Would you like to come over for breakfast? Kate and Aaron will be thrilled to see you.”

_“Interesting that you should mention breakfast. That’s the reason I was calling.”_

“Trying to get free meals out of your old friends, Desmond?”

_“I was going to suggest the diner, but since you’re offering…”_

“Of course, come on over.”

It would be strange to have a houseful again. So far their only visitor of the old island family had been James; although everyone was only on the other end of the phone should help be required, they had all decided to leave Kate and Claire to their own devices and not to hover, so that they could build a strong foundation in their new home together. It was the same tactic that Kate had come to grips with for letting Claire deal with her own crises. She was always there, always worrying in the background, but she had accepted that she couldn’t solve all the problems herself.

Plans were made for breakfast, and by the time Claire had hung up, Kate and Aaron were both in the kitchen with her and her tea was getting rather tepid. Aaron was very excited to see little Charlie again. Although they had never been close enough friends for him to miss his old playmate now that he had made new friends at school, Charlie was like a distant relative who was only seen once a year at a family reunion, but whom Aaron was still very in tune with. As soon as the Humes had arrived, Aaron was giving Charlie a tour of the house and his new bedroom, as the last time Charlie had seen it, half of the toys and books had still been in packing crates.

Breakfast was a lively, chatty affair, but despite the distractions, Claire spent a lot of the time watching Desmond and Penny and thinking. Their relationship had always been something of a quiet inspiration for her. They loved each other so much and they had come through so much turmoil during their marriage, both externally in the form of the island and all the associated baggage from that, and internally with Desmond’s flashbacks, forwards, sideways and any other which way he could think of. Although his mind had finally settled in the present, nightmares were still a common occurrence, and thinking about it gave her the beginnings of an idea.

They were still all sitting around the kitchen table, laughing at one of Penny’s anecdotes from trying to sort out various things to do with her father’s company (three years after his death and it still wasn’t finalised), when Claire received a message.

_Are you not painting today? I hope I didn’t keep you out too late._

“Oh no!” She looked up at the clock and realised that the morning had ticked itself away and it was lunchtime already, and she shot up out of her chair.

“Claire?”

“I was supposed to be meeting Aiden for lunch; he was bringing a picnic to the studio.”

Everyone fell about laughing all over again, and Kate made shooing motions towards the door.

“Go, go on. I can keep Desmond and Penny entertained for an hour. Go and meet your man. You made breakfast for everyone, you deserve someone else bringing you lunch.”

“Are you sure? I mean, we have guests.”

She gestured to Penny, Desmond and Charlie.

“Relax.” Penny’s voice was the kind of voice that could always make Claire relax, and she felt much more at ease. “We didn’t exactly give you any notice that we were coming. There’s no need to cancel all your plans on our account. Go and meet your man-friend. I’m sorry, I just can’t envisage Mr Gold as boyfriend material. He’s definitely a man.”

Claire buried her face in her hands. “Please let’s just not have that conversation.” She typed out a quick reply to Aiden - _sorry, unexpected guests arrived & I lost track of time, I’m on my way_ \- and went to get her coat before coming back into the kitchen. It was time to take a leap of faith, and this was the perfect moment in which to do so.

“Actually, Desmond, do you mind walking with me? I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Desmond acquiesced with a nod, and soon the two of them were walking down towards the docks and Claire’s studio. She had enjoyed working in the little space, and although she had not made much in the way of sales, she liked getting back into the swing of doing something regularly and building up her skills again. Soon she would start making more of an effort to market her work; she knew that Kate, Ruby and Aiden would be all too happy to help her.

“What did you want to talk about?” Desmond asked, bringing her back to reality and to the real reason for his presence by her side.

“I still get nightmares about the island,” she admitted. “About all the horrible things that happened whilst I was there alone. And I know that you get them too, about the hatch and everything. And I was just wondering how you coped with that. And, erm, how Penny copes.”

Desmond gave her a little smile, and Claire groaned. She knew that he knew exactly why she was asking, but at least he was gentlemanly enough not to actually say it.

“If Mr Gold - sorry, Aiden - has the slightest bit of sense, then he’s hardly going to be put off by you shouting in your sleep, no matter what weird and wonderful things you might say. Are you worried about letting something slip about the island, or more worried about letting slip about some of the things that you had to do whilst you were on it?”

“Both. I mean, the island I’m not so worried about, because everything that happened was so crazy that no-one would ever believe it. That’s far easier to peg down to a dream. But some of the things I did, well, they still haunt me, and I don’t want to wake up and find him looking at me like I’m a murderer.” She paused. “I killed people, Desmond. I thought I was protecting Aaron when I did it, but that doesn’t negate the fact I did it. I’ve made my peace with it now, but Aiden…”

“Everyone has nightmares. Everyone has nightmares in which horrific things happen, sometimes perpetrated by themselves.” Desmond squeezed Claire’s shoulder gently. “Nightmares are nightmares, no matter how much truth there might be in them. It’s all in the past, and it can’t hurt you now. That’s what Penny always says to me. What’s done is done. The dreams can’t hurt you, or whoever’s in the bed with you. And whoever’s in the bed with you ought to understand that as well.”

Claire smiled. “Thanks, Desmond.”

They were nearing the studio now and Claire could see Aiden’s car parked up outside. He got out of it as they approached, and greeted Desmond with a handshake. It was strange to remember that Aiden and Desmond were already acquainted with each other, but then, perhaps Scottish people in small town American east coast environments were naturally drawn to each other as a sort of safety in numbers mechanism. They exchanged polite small talk for a couple of minutes before Desmond said his goodbyes and returned to the house, and Claire let Aiden into the studio.

They ate sitting on the floor on a dustsheet that Claire had spread out for the occasion, surrounded by half-finished pieces of art, including a few daubings of Aaron’s when he had spent the afternoon at the studio with her.

“He’s got a lot of talent,” Aiden remarked.

“Yes.” Claire couldn’t help the swell of maternal pride in her voice. “It seems that we both have artistic sons.”

“Another thing we have in common.”

He held his sandwich up against hers in a toast, and it was in that moment that Claire knew, for better or worse, that she had definitely fallen in love with this man.

For the first time, the thought did not fill her with fear. All she could feel was happiness.

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

Claire was at a loss. She knew what she wanted to do, but she was torn between listening to the bold part of her that was telling her to go for it and listening to the scared part that was offering her all kinds of excuses not to do it. The bold part was currently winning, because when Claire wanted something, she really, really wanted it, like peanut butter at three o’clock in the morning, which was a craving that had existed long before pregnancy and continued long after it.

She and Aaron were alone in the house this evening; Kate had gone to spend the night with Ruby and would be back for breakfast tomorrow. Aaron was sitting on the living room floor in his pyjamas, happily watching the last of the day’s kid’s programming, and it would soon be his bedtime, leaving Claire alone for the rest of the evening and night. This wasn’t the first time that Kate had gone to Ruby’s, and it wasn’t as if Claire was scared of being alone in the house at night, far from it. It was more that tonight, she craved company. From one specific individual in particular.

“Aaron?”

“Yes Mom?” He had just started experimenting with calling her and Kate both simply ‘Mom’ when he was alone with them, instead of always differentiating between them, and it always made Claire smile whenever she heard it.

“I’m going to ask Aiden - Mr Gold - to come over whilst Mommy Kate’s not here, ok?”

He nodded genially and went back to what he was doing. “Ok.”

She grabbed her phone, turning it over and over in her hands before biting the bullet and tapping out a message.

_What are you up to tonight?_

_I’m incredibly busy lamenting the fact there’s nothing decent on TV. You?_

_Same._ She paused before adding the next line. _Would you like to come over?_

_What about Kate and Aaron?_

_Kate’s out tonight, and Aaron’s always happy to see you. Besides, it’s his bedtime soon._

There was a long pause before the reply, and Claire was beginning to wonder if she would ever get one when her phone pinged again.

_I’ll be right over._

The kid’s channel finished broadcasting just as the doorbell rang, and whilst Claire was happy that Aiden had arrived, she realised that the timing could have been better. Aaron jumped up and rushed to answer the door, Claire following as fast as she could.

Whenever she saw Aaron and Aiden together, she could honestly say that she didn’t know where Aiden’s reputation as the beast of Storybrooke had come from. It was clear that he loved children and that even though his own son was now grown and off at college, his paternal instinct had never gone away. He was completely at ease around Aaron and let himself be led into the house like any of their other friends would.

“Yeah, maybe I should have waited until after he was in bed to invite you over,” Claire muttered as she tried to corral her son up the stairs towards his room. Aiden just chuckled. “Please make yourself at home. Put the kettle on. I think I could use a cup of tea.”

Aaron finally gave in and accepted that he wasn’t going to be allowed to stay up and talk to Mr Gold, so he went upstairs with good grace and Claire came to tuck him in.

“So, what are you and Mr Gold going to do?” he asked. Even though it was a completely innocent question, Claire felt the heat rise at the back of her neck, because she had a very good idea of what she wanted them to be doing by the end of the evening.

“Probably just watch a movie, you know. The same things I do with Mommy Kate when she’s here.”

“So, he’s come over to make sure that you’re not lonely.”

“Erm, yes, you could say that.”

“Good.” Aaron closed his eyes as she turned on the nightlight by the door. He kept insisting that he was a big boy now and didn’t need one, but on all the nights that Claire had acquiesced and left it off, he had turned it on again himself by morning. “You shouldn’t be lonely, Mommy Claire.”

Claire thought about the words as she left the room, leaning against the wall just outside and letting them sink in. She didn’t want to be lonely. She’d been alone for too long, both literally whilst on the island, and then more figuratively after she’d left it. She’d always had Kate and the rest of the island family, but she’d never had someone like Aiden. She didn’t want to be lonely, but deep down she knew that it was not solitude that was pushing her towards him. It wasn’t so much that she didn’t want to be lonely, as that she wanted to be happy, and she knew that Aiden would make her so.

Tonight, she was ready for that final step towards a lasting happiness with him; perhaps a lifetime’s worth of it if everything went well.

She returned downstairs to find him sitting on the sofa, a tray of tea things on the table balanced neatly on top of all her astrology and art magazines. A part of her chastised herself for not tidying up a bit more before he came over, but he’d been in the house often enough whilst it was a mess to know that was the status quo. Doing something special this evening felt like she was attaching more weight to the occasion than it warranted. The more she made a big thing out of it, the more nervous she was going to be.

This was an evening like any other. She wasn’t dressed up nicely, she didn’t have any make-up on, and her hair was in a messy ponytail. This was about as far from a planned seduction as she could get, and yet her end goal was the same.

Aiden poured her a cup of tea as she sat down beside him on the sofa, and she leaned in close to him.

“You know, the only time that we ever use this teapot is when you’re here,” she said. “I ought to get a cosy for it.”

“I simply appreciate the importance of proper tea etiquette.” Aiden’s voice was prim, but it was clear that he was trying very hard not to laugh.

“You’re not even English!”

“I’m Scottish. The influence has rubbed off from over the border.” He looked at her deadpan for a moment, then finally gave into laughter. “All right, all right. I just get through a lot of tea and it’s easier to make a pot than keep brewing individual mugs. Less teabag wastage.”

Claire curled her feet up under her on the sofa and started channel-hopping until they found something vaguely watchable, an old black and white comedy that neither of them paid all that much attention to, preferring to keep the sound low as they talked over the dialogue, pointing out inconsistencies in the set-building and enjoying each other’s company more than the film. Claire would have switched it off, but there was something inside her that was waiting for the right moment. The end of the film would be a natural breaking point. Anything before that would seem too forced and obvious, and Claire wanted more than anything for tonight to be a natural transition.

She snuck a glance sideways at Aiden during a quiet moment, and she wondered if his thoughts were wending in the same direction as hers. She’d heard it said that men thought about sex way more than women, but right now, she had it on the brain, blushing at the film’s innuendoes more than she would ordinarily.

At length, the movie finished, and they were just staring at the blank TV screen in the dim light from the lamp in the corner. It was so similar to their previous date at the drive-in that Claire had to smile. Aiden’s arm was warm around her shoulders, and then his lips were soft and eager against hers.

This time, there was nothing holding her back. She was ready this time, perhaps more comfortable in her own home than with the unknown of Aiden’s bedroom hanging over her. She was absolutely sure that this was what she wanted; that this was the right thing to do.

“Do you want to stay the night?” she asked once they broke away. “With me, I mean. In my bed.” She cringed, had he really needed that clarification?

Aiden smiled, and oh, how she loved the way the corners of his eyes crinkled when he did.

“I want that very much.”

X

Claire didn’t want to move. Every available inch of her was pressed in close against Aiden and whilst she was almost uncomfortably warm, it was so long since she had been this intimate with someone that she never wanted to let go of him.

For all they were both out of practice, she thought that it had been very successful. They’d kept the lights off, both more comfortable in the darkness for this first time, although Claire knew she’d be happy to let him see every inch of her in broad daylight. She remembered the touch of his tongue gently tracing over the scars on her chest and shoulders, healing her wounds with love and desire. She buried her face in against his neck, breathing in the faint scent of his cologne, his fingers interlacing with hers and bringing her hand up to press a kiss to her palm. No, she did not want to move at all.

Practicality would eventually win out, though, and she reluctantly pulled away, rooting about under her pillow for her nightshirt. If she’d thought this through, she would have made sure that the slinky lace number she’d bought with a bright red face earlier in the week was to hand, but that was hanging up in the wardrobe and she didn’t want to get out of bed. Besides, as warm as Aiden was, it was the middle of December and the house always cooled down overnight. Lace wasn’t the most sensible of sleeping attire in such conditions.

“You don’t mind putting some clothes back on, do you?” she asked. “It’s just with Aaron, you know. If I shout in the middle of the night he comes in to check if I’m ok, or if he gets nightmares himself.”

“Of course.” Aiden slipped out of bed to poke about in the mess of their clothes, pulling his undershirt and boxers back on.

“It’s strange.” Claire nestled back in against him, welcoming his hands stroking up and down her back. “Ever since I came back into his life, he’s always come to me when he has nightmares, rather than Kate, even though obviously she was the only one before. Maybe he realised that I was just as scared as he was, and we could be brave together.”

“I like that way of looking at it.”

Aaron had always helped her to be brave, even before he’d been reintroduced to her. She’d needed a couple of months to stabilise before she trusted herself around him, still screaming herself awake every night and flinching at every unexpected noise, but the thought of getting back to him, and the knowledge that she was damn well going to be his mother again come hell or high water, had spurred her onwards, somehow managing to convince her in the quagmire of her anxiety, depression and debilitating panic, that everything was going to be all right in the end, because Aaron would be there, and no matter how long and hard the road would be, they would reconcile.

Aiden pressed a soft kiss to her temple.

“You’re a very special, very lovely woman, Claire.”

There were more unspoken words; the air was heavy with them, but Claire wasn’t ready to hear them yet. She certainly wasn’t ready to say them back. Everything was still very new. Absolutely wonderful, but still new. There was no uncertainty clouding her judgement any more, but after everything that had happened, Claire knew that accepting her overwhelming feelings was going to take time.

The words remained unsaid, and Claire smiled. It would happen, in her own time. She trusted Aiden to go along at her pace, and she trusted herself not to sabotage her chance at happiness. She felt his arms pull her a little closer as she drifted off into sleep, wholly content.

When she woke later with a start, half-sitting up to catch her breath, her immediate thought was whether she’d screamed and woken anyone else. She hadn’t been screaming in the dream; at least, she didn’t think so. Now that she’d woken up, the threads of her nightmare were slipping away from her. She was grateful not to have the memory, but not so grateful for the disturbed night. She sat up fully and ran a hand through her hair, breathing in and out slowly to try and calm her racing heart.

“Claire?”

Aiden was looking up at her blearily beside her.

“Just a nightmare,” she whispered. “I’m ok.”

He nodded, and it looked like he was about to go back to sleep, but then he reached across her ungracefully and turned the bedside lamp on, before levering himself upright beside her and taking her in his arms.

“You’re safe,” he murmured to her, stroking her hair. He didn’t say anything else, but that was all she needed to hear. Whatever happened, she knew that Aiden would keep her safe. She looked over at the clock; it was three am. Maybe in the movies, this was where they’d go for round two, but her heart was already racing, cold sweat sticking her hair to the back of her neck. She was feeling decidedly unsexy, and she just wanted to be held and feel Aiden’s warm embrace enveloping her like a safety blanket keeping out the rest of the harsh world.

She let him slide them down under the covers again, and she was asleep again long before he turned the light off.

X

Kate felt like she was walking on sunshine and had she not been driving, she would probably have started dancing down the street. As it was, she settled for tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.

She was in love. Last night had been one of the best nights of her life. Ruby had met her at the door with breathless enthusiasm; she had finally bitten the bullet and booked her flights to Europe in the spring. They’d spent most of the evening planning her itinerary, and even though Kate was not going with her, she still felt like she was a huge part of this trip, with Ruby asking her for places that she wanted her to go and take pictures of. They were going to be separated for two months, but the thought didn’t give either of them any fear. Ruby was going away, but she was coming back again, and she wanted to share as much of her life and her future with Kate as she could. There was so much enthusiasm in the atmosphere, so much life and love, and it had just slipped out.

 _I love you_.

There had been no awkward silence after Ruby had made her confession.

 _I love you too_.

It was the first time that Kate had ever said it back to anyone without hesitation, and looking back, she knew the reason why. There was no pressure with Ruby. As she’d said to James, on all of the other occasions when she’d fallen in love with someone, they’d ended up hurt, but this time, there was nothing to get in the way. This time, she was herself. She wasn’t pretending to be someone else; she wasn’t on the run; she wasn’t on a godforsaken island fighting for survival every step of the way; she wasn’t trying to keep the lie of the Oceanic Six alive and raise Aaron whilst dealing with the guilt of having left Claire to her fate. She was just Kate, and she was free to live and love however she pleased.

And she loved Ruby, and Ruby loved her, and she didn’t think that anything could go wrong with her world right now. Not even Claire having a complete breakdown. She was on top of the world, and nothing would bring her down. She could conquer anything.

Kate was aware that something monumental had happened as soon as she turned into Shell Drive, because there was a familiar black Cadillac parked up outside her house. For anyone else, the sight of the landlord’s car in the drive would be a cause for concern, but Kate just grinned to herself. Claire would have texted her if they’d had some kind of leak or other catastrophe that would require said landlord’s presence to sort out, so Gold was evidently here for pleasure rather than business. The rime of ice on the car roof and windows told her that he’d been there for quite some time. Claire had had an impromptu sleepover of her own, it seemed.

She let herself into the house, already hearing the sounds of breakfast happening in the kitchen, and she peered around the door, not announcing her presence for a minute or so and watching the scene within.

It was definitely the most casual that she had ever seen Gold, in (rather crumpled) shirtsleeves and no tie. She’d seen him smile like that occasionally before, but only ever when he was with Claire.

Claire herself was positively glowing with happiness, stealing little kisses when Aaron was distracted with his breakfast, and the intricate little dance that the two of them made together whilst they moved around each other making pancakes was so natural, it was as if they’d made breakfast together every morning for the last ten years. It was so good to see Claire being her old tactile self again.

Presently Aaron looked up and saw her in the doorway.

“Mommy Kate! Did you have fun on your sleepover? Mr Gold came over for a sleepover here too!”

The blush rose in Claire’s cheeks when she realised that she’d been caught in the act, but she showed no shame in it. They were both active young women in new relationships; this was bound to happen sooner rather than later, and Kate was quietly cheering Claire’s corner.

She sat down at the table as Gold brought the stack of pancakes over. She’d already grabbed a bite at the diner before Ruby had started her shift and the usual breakfast rush came in, but no-one could ever turn down freshly made pancakes and breakfast with family.

The meal was a happy one, Aaron doing most of the talking and Kate trying to get out of Claire exactly what had happened last night without the need for words, resulting in a lot of giggles and Gold looking slightly worried. By the time Aaron was playing in the living room and Gold had gone home for a shower and change of clothes, Kate was practically bursting at the seams to speak to Claire alone. Finding Gold in the house had momentarily put the thoughts of her own relationship to one side, but now they were back.

“So…” Claire said. “I think you can guess the major step that was taken in my love life last night, and no I will not be giving details, but what about you? You’re almost bouncing up and down.”

“We said I love you. Both of us. I don’t think I’ve ever said it this quickly and been so sure of it.”

“Oh Kate! That’s fantastic!” Claire threw her arms around her, dancing a happy little jig on the spot. “You deserve this, both of you. I’m so happy for you!”

“And I’m very happy for you as well. The sexual tension was becoming unbearable, you know.”

Claire rolled her eyes and smacked Kate’s arm playfully.

“Ow!”

“Come on, I barely touched you.”

“You know, you always tell me it’s bad to fight.” Aaron was looking at them disapprovingly from the doorway, and Kate had to stifle a laugh. It was back to business as usual, and everything was well with the world.

  



	10. Chapter 10

 

If anyone in Boston Logan International was confused by the rather large crowd who had gathered to see off a single traveller, then they didn’t show it. Airport departure and arrival halls were liminal spaces, laws unto themselves where ordinary rationales never applied. Nothing looked out of place there.

Granny was giving Ruby last-minute safety tips and making sure that she had enough cash to keep her going for her first few days, and Ruby was taking it all with good grace. She might complain about Granny’s overprotective tendencies at times, but now, when she was leaving her grandmother’s home properly for the first time, she was grateful for every last second that they spent together. Her bag had been checked in, and now all that remained was for her to say her goodbyes before heading through to security and departures. She wondered if the same crowd would be there to welcome her back in two months’ time.

Granny gave her a final hug and told her to look after herself, before taking a step back so that no-one would see her weep, letting Kate say her goodbyes.

Ruby was going to miss Kate. There had been a few occasions over the past few months, ever since she had booked the tickets, where Ruby had considered cancelling the whole thing and staying in Storybrooke with her girlfriend, but Kate had always been so supportive of her dream, and even now, at the moment of their parting, she was still so excited to see Ruby going off and doing the thing she’d always planned to.

“I’ll call you every day,” she promised Kate, who raised an eyebrow.

“Ruby, that will cost you an absolute fortune. Twice a week is fine. Besides, you’ll be too busy exploring to call me all the time.”

“And I’ll send you loads of postcards!”

“Now, postcards I am expecting. I plan to put them all on the fridge along with a map full of pins showing all the places you’ve been.”

Ruby threw her arms around Kate. “I wish you were coming with me,” she murmured.

“I know. I wish I was too. But there’s always next time. We’ll get to go travelling together, I promise.”

Eventually, the farewells could be dragged out no longer, and Ruby went around hugging everyone again, even Leroy, who’d come to see her off with the excuse that no-one ever left Storybrooke to go on adventures therefore this was a momentous occasion, not admitting that it was because he too was sentimental about seeing her leave. She gave a final wave as she went off towards security and the departure lounge, and then she was gone.

Granny took Kate’s hand and squeezed. “She’ll be all right. For all she’s a bit scatter-brained, she’s got her head screwed on straight when it comes to the important things.”

Kate nodded. “I know. I’m not worried about her in that sense. I know she’s going to have a great time. I just can’t get over how much I’m going to miss her.”

“I’m already counting down the days until she comes back,” Granny admitted. “But I guess I have to let go and let her spread her wings at some point. She’s been stuck in the town too long, and whilst I know she loves it really, she needs to see the world before she settles down.” She looked over at Kate with a smile. “I’m glad that she’s found someone she wants to settle down with.”

There was no sense in standing around in the departure hall anymore, and Kate turned back to the rest of the crowd who had driven down to the airport in convoy with them. Claire and Aaron were there of course, and Gold had come along for moral support as well, along with Leroy. They made quite the motley bunch.

“Come on.” Granny took her arm. “Let’s go home. I think we all need a little comfort food after that. The fries are on the house tonight.”

It was strange to see them all gathered together in the diner when they reconvened after the long drive back to Storybrooke. When they had first arrived in the town, Kate would never have imagined that they would end up so ingratiated with the locals. The entire point of coming here had been to find a place where they could keep themselves to themselves and not have to interact with a lot of people, but they had truly become a part of the community, despite their rather unusual circumstances.

She looked over at Claire on the opposite side of the booth to her, Gold’s arm casually around her shoulders as she leaned into him. Their landlord was the last person that she thought Claire would fall in love with given her previous track record on the island, but there was no doubt that he had been good for her. Even James had commented on it during his last visit, when he came to celebrate New Year’s with them. They were never going to get him out to the town on a permanent basis; he preferred his solitary life in the city too much, but he always enjoyed coming to see them.

“I propose a toast,” Granny said, and they all dutifully raised their drinks, including Aaron, who ended up spilling soda over Granny’s fries. She didn’t appear to pay it any mind. “To Ruby’s adventures.”

“Ruby’s adventures.”

Kate smiled. She was going to miss her girlfriend terribly through the next two months, but she knew that soon enough, Ruby would be back, and they could make plans to take their next trip together. In the meantime, she had her wonderful friends and the family that she had found, both in Storybrooke and outside it, to see her through.

X

“Maybe we should think about planning a trip of our own,” Kate mused. They were sitting on the sofa together, both of them unconsciously waiting for Ruby’s call to say that she had landed safely. Even after so many years, they were both still a little wary of plane travel. “We’ve never taken Aaron to Disneyland.”

“Forget Aaron, you can take me to Disneyland.” Claire laughed. “I always wanted to be a Disney princess when I was little. You’ve never too old to live your dreams.”

“Yeah.” Kate leaned back on the sofa. “Actually, coming to think of it, I’ve never been to Disneyland either. I was never into princesses and stuff when I was growing up; I couldn’t see the appeal.”

“Maybe Aaron doesn’t see the appeal either. He’s far more into dinosaurs. If there was a Disneyland-sized dinosaur-themed amusement park then he’d jump at the chance.”

The conversation continued back and forth for a while, neither of them coming to any conclusions apart from the definite need to take a holiday together, the three of them. Now that Kate and Claire were both embarking upon steady new relationships, the dynamic of their little family with Aaron was shifting. There were new people in his life now and Kate and Claire were no longer so tightly bound together by mutual need; Claire no longer needed Kate’s absolute support and full attention to make sure that she was all right, and Kate no longer needed Claire as someone to take care of to assuage her guilt at being unable to save so many others. Coming to Storybrooke and meeting new people had been good for all of them, but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t take the time to enjoy themselves as the same family unit that they had been before their move. Now, they were happier, healthier, and more well-rounded individuals in all respects. Aaron had made firm new friends at school and had settled into life in the town well, much better than he had done in New York when everything was still up in the air and his mothers were being very cagey as to what was happening. He was at the age where friendships would become long term now, and Claire was happy to see him thriving so well given all the ups and downs of his early life.

“Speaking of holidays, though…” Claire had avoided the subject for a couple of days whilst they were preparing for Ruby’s departure, but time was moving on.

“Yes?”

“You know Aiden has that little cabin by the river?”

“No, I know nothing of this little cabin by the river.”

“Well, he has one. And now that the weather’s improved and we’ve actually got springtime and the occasional burst of sunshine, and he’s invited me to spend next weekend there with him.”

“Look at you! Off for dirty weekends of sun, sex and skinny-dipping.”

“Kate!” Claire buried her face in her hands. “I wish I hadn’t said anything now,” she muttered.

“I think it’s great! You deserve a little romantic break. God knows Ruby and I had enough sleepovers. Aaron and I can have a weekend to ourselves and watch all the films you hate.”

Claire gave a snort of laughter.

“Seriously, though, you deserve this.” Kate slipped an arm around her and Claire leaned into her shoulder. “I’m so proud of you, Claire.”

“I haven’t exactly done anything.”

“Yes, you have. You’ve recovered. Four years ago, when we left the island, you didn’t think that you would ever get this far, and I have to admit that there were times when I was doubtful myself. But you pulled through, and now you’re here, and after everything that you have endured and everything that you have done to get back to the person that you were before, you deserve the happiness that Aiden brings you. You deserve this second chance at life.”

“Thank you.” There was a long pause. “I’m proud of you, too, and the thing that you’ve built with Ruby. You’re so much more trusting now. You let yourself be vulnerable and open. You deserve that happiness too.”

The peaceful moment was brought to a close by Kate’s phone ringing, and she jumped up off the sofa, leaving the room to take the call. Claire took advantage of being alone to grab her own phone.

_We’re on for the weekend. I can’t wait. I’m not telling Aaron exactly where we’re going though, or he’ll want to come camping._

_Not to blow my own trumpet, but he’d love it there. Neal was always excited about spending time at the cabin when he was Aaron’s age. If you ever want to use it for you three, you’d be very welcome._

Claire thought about what they had been talking about before, taking a holiday just the three of them. Using Aiden’s cabin wasn’t such a silly idea. Although they had all been living together for four years, it would be the first time that they had actually been on vacation together and it would be good to have a trial run in a place close to home before they started going cross-country.

_That’s a very tempting idea. I’ll have to see the cabin first though. If we end up turning it into a little love-nest then it might never recover enough to be seen by innocent eyes._

There was a long pause whilst Aiden replied.

_I think you’re overestimating my stamina, there. How an old codger like me ended up with a bright young thing like you is completely beyond me. What did I do to strike so lucky?_

Claire smiled. _No, I’m the lucky one._

Everything had fallen into place in the last few months. Claire couldn’t believe that soon it would be a year since they had made the move and started their new lives here in Storybrooke. In that time, she’d made so much progress, and it had culminated in her falling in love with a wonderful man. Everything was falling into place.

There were still hurdles to figure out, of course. With her relationship and Kate’s relationship moving on in leaps and bounds, there were going to be logistical discussions regarding cohabitation and Aaron soon, but those were a while off yet and they could cross that bridge when they came to it. They’d already solved so many more immediately life-threatening problems that Claire could no longer bring herself to be truly scared of anything that might happen in the future. She had proved herself tough enough to survive everything that life and her own mind had thrown at her so far, and if she could get through that, then she could get through anything.

 _I love you_ , she sent to Aiden. She remembered the first time she’d said it to him. They’d been in the kitchen at his place, having coffee and talking, and it had just come out. He hadn’t said it back, not at the time. He’d been so good to her during the first few weeks of their relationship whilst she was still figuring herself and her feelings out, that she had not noticed his own insecurities, about their age difference, about his previous marriage, about his reputation in the town. It had been nice to be the one to offer reassurance for once, instead of the one needing help.

_And I love you, Claire._

She brought her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them with contentment as Kate came back into the room.

“Ruby’s safe in London. She’s already started taking pictures and all she’s seen so far is Heathrow and the underground.”

Claire smiled. Yes, everything was well in the world.

  
  
  



End file.
